


When Time Flies

by Nancepance



Category: The A-Team (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Family, Flashbacks, Fun, Gen, Insanity, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Vietnam Era Story, Vietnam War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 22,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23460553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nancepance/pseuds/Nancepance
Summary: "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please review? I love getting to know people and I like to know what you think.

**The A-Team – When time flies**

~ "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."

Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy ~

**Prologue:**

The sun is setting on a small dusty airfield in Arizona. The air above the tarmac shimmers and the sky is clear. A young woman walks around the hangar humming quietly to herself. Dark curly hair cascades over her shoulders. A true beauty with the personality to match. She looks outside at the sky for a while and sighs contentedly. _'Time to get home.'_ She turns towards her car parked close by and grabs the keys from her back pocket.  
A vice like hand clamps down on her wrist, forcefully twists it around and slams her into the hangar wall. She tries to scream but a hand is put over her mouth and her head is pulled backwards. Without thinking she bites the hand hard and it's retracted with a muffled curse. She tries to squirm and fight her way out of his hold. Another curse and then, a click... She freezes when something cold and hard is pressed into her back of her head.

"That was a stupid thing to do, missy… Scream and I'll shoot your pretty little head off."  
Panic is starting to set and she gasps. The man presses himself even closer to her pinning her against the wall with his weight. She can feel his breath fanning her ear.  
"You tell your daddy; we haven't finished with him yet. Either you do as I say, or there will be consequences. Do I make myself clear?"  
She nods barely suppressing a sob.  
"Good."  
The gun is removed, and she drops to the floor. The man casually walks away from her, whistling and kicking the pebbles on the path. The young woman curls up against the wall, sobbing.


	2. Meeting the Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm following the episode format for this.

Danny Simms is livid!

He is supposed to finally meet the guy that knows about the A-Team. First there was this old Chinese guy, then some bum, and one **_very_** ugly working girl. He could take all that but not this..., this... _'IDIOT!'_ The guy has an eye patch and keeps flinging his fishing gear around. Making him sidestep and fear for his life on the slippery wooden pier while keeping an eye out for the guy he is supposed to meet. Danny swears he saw the guy smirk when he was yet again smacked in the face with the damned fishing rod. His hands are itching to just grab it, throw it over the edge and be done with it. He is startled out of his angry thoughts by the fisherman's voice.  
"You were looking for the A-Team?"  
Gone is the bumbling fisherman and in his place, there is a greying man with sparkling blue eyes and an air of command. Resisting the urge to cower, Danny squares his shoulders and answers proudly: "Yes Sir."  
Hannibal calculatingly looks him over. _'The kid has balls.'_ The colonel grins widely. "Well son, seems like you found them."

The old guy takes Danny to a black van parked not far from the pier. When they arrive, the door slides open to reveal a young blond man carrying a manila folder and black guy who looks like he rolled around in a jewelry store.  
"Face, meet Danny Simms. Danny, this is Lieutenant Templeton Peck, this striking fellow is Sergeant B.A. Baracus and I'm Colonel John Smith. And we, are the A-Team."  
Danny hesitantly shakes hands with every one of them eyeing the men with suspicion. The blond guy seems to notice this immediately and he looks at Danny with a sympathetic expression on his face. It's automatically making him feel at ease without his consent. Face puts an arm around his shoulders and steers him towards the van. Danny isn't quite sure how it happened, but he suddenly found himself in the back seat with the lieutenant. The pile of gold is pulling out into traffic and the colonel looks at him from the front seat taking off the fisherman's disguise.

"Okay… Let's hear your story."  
Danny looks at the blond man from the corner of his eye, noticing the gun in the shoulder holster under the fashionable jacket. _'No way back now...'_ Danny swallows tightly and takes a deep calming breath.  
"I've contacted you on behalf of my father. He used to be a Navy aviator until he lost both his legs in ‘Nam." Danny looks at his hands remembering when his dad came home. "He crashed his Sky raider on an aircraft carrier." Danny sighs. "Got sent home with a purple heart and no legs…"  
"I'm sorry to hear that son." Hannibal looks at the young man and waits patiently for the rest of the story. They all know what kind of world the Vietnam vets came home to.

Danny seems to shake off his memories.  
"Our family owns a small airfield in Arizona. We usually do charter flights, but we also running a flight school and participate in air shows all around the US. But lately... things have been getting... dangerous."  
"Dangerous?" Face glances up from the folder. "How so?"  
Danny sighs. "At first it was small things. You know... slashed tires, smashed windows, but now things have really gotten out of hand. Someone's been messing with the airplanes..." He looks up at the colonel struggling to keep his voice level.  
"Why haven't you hired security?" Hannibal butts in casually while lighting up a cigar.  
"You don't think we have?!" Danny exclaims, angrily throwing his hands up. "But either they stop turning up for work or someone still gets past them. My sister was attacked last week for God's sake!"  
BA shoots a look at his CO.  
"That just ain't right Hannibal."  
"I agree B.A." The colonel nods affirmatively.  
"So Danny," Face looks thoughtfully at the seething young man beside him "have there been any changes around your family's airfield? People who are angry with you or your father?"  
"That's what I want you guys to find out." Danny reaches inside his jacket. Never noticing Face's hand drifting to his gun, he retrieves a thick envelope from his pocket. He sits for a while with the envelope lying on his lap.

"I have the money you asked for... So... are you in?" Danny looks at Hannibal waiting for his answer. Face takes the envelope and quickly scans its contents.  
"It's all there Hannibal."  
Hannibal chews his cigar for a while, looking out through side window.  
"What do you guys think?"  
"Lil' lady getting attacked like that just ain't sitting right with me Hannibal." B.A.'s hands tighten on the wheel. "I say, let's get these suckers!"  
"Face?"  
"Fine by me Hannibal. We can always use the money."  
Hannibal nods and looks at Danny.  
"Congratulations! It looks like you just hired the A-Team."

After dropping Danny off at his car, the team is sitting in the back of the van pouring over the contents of the folder. Face is thumbing through the pages of information on the Simms he scammed from God knows where.  
"Talk to me Lieutenant. Whadda'ya got." Hannibal says, his voice muffled by the cigar in his mouth.  
Face rolls his eyes and flips back to the first page.  
"Looks like a good old-fashioned military family from the Tucson area. The father is Major Jack Simms, US Navy, retired. Served an extended tour in Vietnam. Medical discharge under honorable conditions in 1974." Face turns the page. "Married with two children... a son Danny and a daughter Cassidy. The airfield and surrounding land have been in their possession since the late 40's. No loans or unpaid mortgages."  
"So, no funny stuff there..." Hannibal looks thoughtful. "I think it's time to pay a visit to the major. Face, you get Murdock and meet me at my place."  
"Hannibal! You know I ain't flying!" B.A.’s glaring at the colonel.  
"Now B.A...," The colonel throws the stub of his cigar out the window and smirks at the sergeant "you know we would never make you do anything you don't want. Besides, I have the feeling we might need the van."  
B.A. narrows his eyes at the silver haired colonel. Seeing the familiar sparkle in his eyes he groans.  
"Oh no... You's on the jazz..."


	3. Getting the Pilot

**Chapter 2:**

Face parks his shiny corvette in the sunny VA parking lot and checks his appearance in the rear-view mirror. _'Perfect.'_ He gets out of the car, fixes his white lab coat and attaches his ID. Taking a deep breath and molding his face into a worried expression, Face walks into the building up to Murdock's floor. He snatches a clipboard from some random desk along the way, automatically checking the exits, the position of the orderlies and the patients. He walks up to the young blonde nurse reading a small paperback. She looks new and slightly nervous to be in the hospitals psychiatric ward. _'Jackpot!'_  
"I need to see Captain Murdock!" he bellows at the poor girl.  
She gasps and almost jumps a foot in the air. "Captain Murdock? What? Why...?"  
"No time for chit chat woman. Take me to the captain's room. It's an emergency!" Face starts walking in the direction of Murdock's room. The young woman dashes past him and stops right in front of the charming blond man, the book still clutched in her hands.  
"Where do you think you're going? Who are you?"

 _'Hmmm the girl has more backbone than I thought. Time to change tactic.'_ Face gets a glimpse of the book cover. _'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide...'_ Feeling slightly giddy at the prospect of a good con, he gets ready to set up the poor nurse. Sighing dramatically, he lets himself sag against the wall rubbing his forehead.  
"I'm really sorry for my bad manners.” Face pinches the bridge of his nose, the picture of complete dejection. “I have received some bad news concerning Captain Murdock." The lieutenant’s bright blue eyes focus on the nurse. "It seems that when he participated in a drug test two weeks ago, some of the medication was… contaminated."  
"Contaminated?" The nurse looks unsure.  
"Yes nurse..." Face glances at her ID, "Linda... It appears that the test subjects can go from having an easy-going personality to dangerously psychotic in the blink of an eye. "

At this the young nurse's eyes widen. "But mr. Murdock isn't dangerous!" She nervously glances down at the book she is still holding and swallows. Face looks up at her with a startled look upon his face. He walks up to her and put's a steadying hand on her arm.  
"No no, don't worry!" Looking wistfully at the young blonde he slowly starts walking again subtly guiding her along. "We don't know yet if the captain has been subjected to the contaminated drug." Face flashes a small smile at the woman. "Anyway, he would show signs before his first regression."  
Feeling reassured she asks curiously: "What kind of signs? Here it is doctor..."  
The girl opens the door and immediately jumps back muffling a scream with her hand. Face pushes her back and steps into the room. Murdock is lying on his bed, twisting his long limbs, and seemingly speaking in tongues.  
"Oh no...! Nurse, get a wheelchair please... I need to get him back to the lab before it's too late!" Face starts to fuss over Murdock who arches his back and hisses at the blond doctor. "Quickly!"  
"I can't just release him doctor!" Linda exclaims.

' _Time to up the act…'_  
"Do I need to tell you what will happen if he turns before he gets the antidote?!" Murdock howls and lunges at the young woman. A mouse like squeak comes from the nurse as she runs to get the wheelchair.  
"Murdock!" Face whispers though clenched teeth. "Can you please tone it down a little."  
"Ya shouldn't have gone and done told me to go fer broke Faceguy." Murdock is smiling brightly up at his friend before going limp. Face rolls his eyes and smacks the pilot upside the head. "Ssshhh…"  
The conman starts to haul the suddenly uncooperative man up silently cursing his Murdock's wicked sense of humor. When nurse Linda returns with the wheelchair, Face unceremoniously dumps the captain into it.  
"I've gotten him to calm down a bit. Please sign this release form and I'll be on my way." When the girl hesitates, Murdock starts to laugh. A deep maniacal kind of laughter. The nurse signs the form with a trembling hand eager to get rid of the crazy man.  
"Don't worry Linda you did the right thing." Face flashes his most sincere smile at her and he can see the exact moment it hits, making her blush prettily. "You will have him back in a few days... Hopefully..."

Face starts to wheel the cackling captain to the closest elevator. When the doors close Murdock immediately stops laughing and he looks at the lieutenant.  
"Sooo... where are we goin’?"  
"Don't worry Murdock. You're gonna love it!"

After stashing the wheelchair and retrieving the duffel bag that Murdock had dropped out of his window before Face arrived, the pair makes their way to the parked corvette. Murdock hops over the door and the poor seat creaks from the sudden abuse it's subjected to. Face swats his friends’ arm and gets in his car with an exasperated sigh. Murdock smirks and tries to swat him using his long limbs to his advantage, but Face ducks and avoids being hit which is no small feat inside a car. Even one without a roof.

"Why can't you get into the car like a normal human being?"  
"Face..." Murdock pins his best friend with a look and points at his head... "Duh... crazy, remember...?"  
The conman sighs yet again and starts the car. Checking his mirrors, he pulls out into traffic and heads to Hannibal's place.  
"So Murdock, what have you been up to these last few days?"  
"Thanks fer asking Muchacho! I think I might need some advice from ya."  
"Oh?" Face glances sideways at the pilot. "What kind of advice?"  
"Ah you know... the usual." Murdock looks pensive, taking the blue baseball cap off his head and staring at it as if it holds all the worlds secrets. Face is suddenly reminded of the last time he saw Murdock sitting like that. In another country, wearing jungle greens. It’s almost like another lifetime. He shakes off the memory. The turn to Hannibal's place is coming up soon anyway.

"So..." he starts…  
"I wanna know why them nurses won't crank my prop..." his friend cuts him off waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Startled, Face whips his head around to look at Murdock. That’s not what he’d been expecting at all and it takes a while before he regains his voice.  
"What?!"  
"No matter how hard I crank it, I jus' can't get it to stay up! I tried everything!" He exclaims, wildly gesturing with his hands.  
"Murdock," Face is trying his hardest to keep his eyes on both the road and the man next to him. "I'm not sure if that is entirely appropriate to ask of a nurse. I mean come on..."  
The crazy pilot, hiding a smile continues. "That's what nurse Hildebrand said when I'd gone 'n showed it to her."  
"You WHAT?!"  
"Face! LOOK OUT!" Face's head whips back to the front and slams on the brakes. The car comes to a screeching halt. The lieutenant barely keeps it from slamming into crossing traffic. Car horns are blaring all around them, but Face just turns wide eyed towards Murdock who is busy trying to get his white knuckled fingers to let go of the car seat. The pilot shakes of the near miss like he always does and grins widely. "An' you would think she’d know about these things with a German name like that." He casually puts his cap back on and looks at Face, but the other man stubbornly keeps his eyes on the traffic light. Murdock tries a few times to get his friend's attention but eventually huffs and crosses his arms.

The rest of the ride was uneventful, and they made it to Hannibal's place in one piece. Murdock even made an effort to use the car door for a change in the hope of smoothing Face's ruffled feathers a bit. After taking the stairs up to the apartment Face knocks his sign and waits for a reply. He looks at his best friend from the corner of his eye and sees the slightly crestfallen look on the captain's face.  
"So... Hildebrand huh..." They can hear the lock being turned. "Isn't that the one with the big hands?"  
Taking the offered olive branch with both hands Murdock smiles brightly at his golden-haired friend. With an exaggerated Texas drawl and a pair of twinkling brown eyes he says: "You know it Faceman."  
Hannibal looks at the duo standing in front of his door. Deciding he just doesn't want to know, he ignores the weird conversation and lets the guys in.

Murdock enthusiastically greets the colonel and then bounds over to the burly mechanic. "Hey there big guy. How's it hanging?"  
"Shut up fool, you're gonna give me a headache." the sergeant grumbles. "You?" he offers after some time has passed.  
"Nah I'm fine man." The lanky pilot lets himself drop onto the couch. His long limbs draped all over it. "So, what's the mission Colonel?"  
Hannibal walks to the couch, kicks the pilot's legs off the armrest and sits down. After patting his pocket for a cigar and not finding one, a nice cigar magically appears in front of him. Grinning he takes it and nods his thanks to Face. He bites the end off and clamps it between his teeth patting his pockets again in search of his lighter. The same magic that produced the cigar is now holding a flame. Puffing his cigar alight Hannibal settles himself in his seat and inhales contentedly.

"You are going to like this one Captain. An airfield near Tucson is in trouble and we are going to find out what's going on."  
"And the best thing is," Face butts in "they do aerobatics."  
Murdock jumps up from his seat and giddily looks at the colonel.  
"Come on guys! What’re we waitin’ for?!"


	4. Arrival at Destination

After a long night with a widely awake Murdock and an eight-hour drive, the foursome finally arrives in the Tucson area. Stopping at a fast food restaurant close to the airfield the team piles out of the van trying to get some space between them. Somewhere along the ride a German accent had cropped up, a small red toy biplane was thrown and subsequently smashed and the man kept spewing aeronautical terms that could easily be construed as something else altogether. It was setting B.A.'s teeth on edge. Even a few warnings from both the sergeant and the colonel did little to calm the increasingly bouncy pilot down.  
"Thank God were here." Face groans. "I don't think I can take any more of this."  
"Yeah, shut up fool, before I shut you up myself." B.A. cracks his knuckles ominously.  
"Vat are you talking about?" Murdock flips back an imaginary scarf. "You know zat ein pilot should never be afraid zu dive in a hairy situation."

Face shudders, thinking back to the conversation about the nurse with the big hands. "Aaaw Murdock... That's way too much information..."  
"Shut up fool! You ain't no Red Baron and you ain't speaking German." Shocked, both Face and Hannibal turn to look at the sergeant. Two sets of blue eyes meeting, Hannibal mouths: _'Red Baron?'_ _  
'No idea.'_ Face mouths back.  
Murdock walks right up to B.A. and pokes him right in the gold. "Am too."  
B.A. steps forward threateningly. "No, you ain't."  
"Am too!"  
"Boys, boys!" Hannibal interrupts the childish display. "Can we ** _please_** stay focused here! Lieutenant, get us something to eat and take Murdock with you. B.A., you, and I will park the van around back. I need to make a call."  
"Yes sir!"

Face starts walking towards the restaurant. "So, the Red Baron eh?"  
"Yeah Faceman." the pilot answers, dropping the accent immediately.  
"And what you said about you know… your prop?"  
Murdock points back at the van and the smashed airplane lying on its floor. "Why…? What did ** _you_** think I was talkin' ‘bout?" Asks the pilot slyly.  
Face looks away briefly and shakes his golden head to clear it. "Eh nothing... nothing..."  
Hiding a smirk Murdock enters the restaurant to order some burgers to go.  
Hannibal looks at B.A. with a twinkle in his eye. "I didn't know you were interested in military aviation history B.A."  
The black man grumbles something unintelligible.  
"What was that?" The colonel asks smugly.  
"I ain't interested in it…" B.A. looks through the windshield trying not to make eye contact with his CO. "I jus' like Snoopy 's all…" He feels his face heating up.  
Hannibal snickers at his sergeant. _'Busted!'_

Face and Murdock return carrying two paper bags, bickering all the way to the van. The colonel rolls his eyes and prays to any deity that will listen that the Simms have separate guest rooms or at least ones with twin beds. He is definitely not looking forward to sharing a bed with any of them. Murdock's nightmares often get the best of him, B.A. snores like a chainsaw and Face… Face is a very messy sleeper. It wasn't unusual to find him draped all over you upon waking. The kid isn't even that big but he seems to need the whole bed and then some. After eating they get ready to do some reconnaissance.  
B.A. parks the van on a low hill overlooking the valley in which the airstrip's situated. Hannibal gets out his binoculars and starts to survey his surroundings. The airfield consists of a single runway and taxi lanes. A hangar, a small passenger terminal and a control tower are visible with a few single prop airplanes situated to the side. Chain link fence runs all around the compound. He hands the binoculars to the pilot.  
"What is your take on it Captain?"  
Murdock takes the binoculars and starts his own survey.  
"Looks calm to me Colonel. Jus' what I would expect from a place like this." Murdock looks thoughtful. "I can't see why someone might target a strip as tiny as this. What's there to gain? Tucson airport is jus' a few miles in that direction."  
"My thoughts exactly."

B.A. starts the van and heads for the gate. Hannibal looks at Face and Murdock. "I have contacted Danny and he is expecting you two at the tower." The duo nods and gets out of the van. Murdock opens the back doors to grab his gun. After checking the clip, he puts it in his waistband beneath the flight jacket. Face checks the gun in the shoulder holster. _'All set…'_ They wave a sloppy salute at the men in the black van and start for the tower.  
"B.A., the major is expecting us at the house. Take a left here." The sergeant turns and heads for the large house at the very end of the compound. The house, with its sand colored stucco walls and red tiled roof exudes a feeling of hospitality and peace. A well-kept garden surrounds it and a wheelchair ramp leads up to the front door. The men get out of the van and head towards the house. However, before they can knock the door is wrenched open and a woman in her late 40's appears in the doorway. With a soft round face and soft curls, she is very much a looker. She takes in both men's appearances, her eyes subtly lingering on the gold around B.A.'s neck. She makes eye contact with Hannibal and in that moment, the colonel sees the immense strength this woman has. Before he has the chance to introduce himself she smiles and her whole face lights up.

"You must be Hannibal… Danny told me about you. Please, do come in." She steps aside to let them into the cool house. "I'm Josie." She smiles warmly at the sergeant not in the least deterred by the man's looks. "You must be B.A. then?" she asks while waving her hands at the gold. He nods at her. "Nice to meet you ma'am."  
"Come, come" she leads them to a big open plan kitchen. "Jack? Where are you? They are here!"  
A shadow appears around the corner. A man in a wheelchair enters the kitchen and rolls up to the twosome. He's still handsome in his late 40's with streaks of grey running along his temples. One leg ends just above the knee and the other just below it. The man stops right before the colonel and salutes. "You have to excuse me for not standing at attention, Sir." Hannibal returns the salute crisply. Jack Simms laughs and extends his hand to both men. "Welcome gentlemen, to Simms airfield."


	5. What Goes up, Must Come Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murdock puts his cap on backwards and leans in close to get a proper look at it. He instantly recoils and gasps stumbling into the kitchen table. Because there, on the wall in black and white, is his own face looking back at him.

After they were seated at the kitchen table with a steaming cup of coffee, Jack starts his story.  
"As you probably heard from Danny, the airfield has run into a spot of trouble." Hannibal nods attentively. "It started when I fired one of our stunt pilots for transporting and dealing drugs during our airshows." The major's hand tightens around his mug. "I will **_not_** have someone smeared across the runway because he couldn't keep his head screwed on tight enough. I've seen enough times what the stuff can do, back in Nam." He shudders.  
"Didn't we all." B.A. growls.  
Jack nods sadly. "We did, didn't we… Anyway, when the first window was smashed, I just figured the guy to be angry. But when things started to happen to the planes, I knew things were getting serious."  
"What kinds of things?" Hannibal asks.  
"First it was small things. Slashed tires and watered-down jet fuel. Student pilots started staying away and passengers are going to other airports. It's costing us a lot of money. And with the El Paso airshow coming up…" Jack sighs. "I thought I could handle it, but recently more serious threats have been made… Some guy showed up and told us we had to rehire the pilot or else… Bastards!" Frustrated he slams his fist on the table. Josie stands behind the wheelchair and puts her hand on her husband's shoulder.  
"We tried to keep our kids out of it, but…" Josie trails off.  
"They involved your daughter…"  
Jack rubs his face tiredly hiding his eyes. He his head back to look at his wife. He then looks at Hannibal with fire in his eyes.  
"Yes-they-did."

Face and Murdock walk to the air control tower in the sweltering heat. The pilot is doing a horrible David Attenborough impression, making Face groan. He points to a particularly aggressive looking cactus.  
“Though Arizona fighting cacti usually hunt in packs, this lone male is stalking his prey with utmost precision…” The telltale sound of a twin prop DC-3 is rumbling in the distance. Murdock looks up to see a silver glint approaching the runway.  
"You coming?" Face asks the pilot while dabbing at his forehead with a handkerchief.  
"Yeah, yeah." Taking pity on his friend who is obviously not made for this dry heat, he decides to be a good boy and get inside quickly. He glances back at the cactus. He narrows his eyes, _‘did it move…?_ ’ Shrugging, he scales the stairs two steps at a time and is at the top of the stairs in the blink of an eye. Taking the time to look around the control tower, Murdock can hear Face huffing and puffing, and another voice is communicating with the plane.  
"Bravo Delta one seven niner, please repeat…" The young man sitting at the control panel sounds alarmed. "What do you mean it won't lock?" He exclaims, breaking radio protocol. Murdock whips his head around to look at the fast-approaching Dakota. "Roger that, Bravo Delta one seven niner. You are clear for touch and go."  
They watch the plane try to touch down and immediately the left wheel gives way making it dip precariously to the left. The sleek silver DC-3 bounces and wobbles and tries to put weight on the wheel again with the same result. It picks up speed and takes off again. "That's a negative Bravo Delta one seven niner, what's the fuel situation?" Murdock walks to the control panel and puts on a headset.

"Tower, this is Bravo Delta one seven niner. Danny, the landing gear still won't lock. I can't risk a wing strike. My tanks are almost empty." A female voice sounds over the radio.  
"Howdy, Bravo Delta one seven niner, this is Hoooowlin' mad Murdock. You'd be havin' a landing gear problem darlin'?" Murdock's drawls in what he likes to call, his sexy southern radio voice.  
Face notices the way Danny does a double take at the appearance of the team's pilot. There appears to be a pause in communication and then Danny and Murdock join forces to talk the pilot down. Face keeps his eyes on the plane circling around again while also taking in the way Danny is acting around the older man. Most of the conversation is going over his head anyway. Something is tickling his senses about the situation. He just can't put his finger on it and Face decides to keep an eye on them. Just to be sure...

"Roger that, Bravo Delta one seven niner. You are clear to attempt a belly landing. Boys in red are on their way."  
They watch with bated breath as the Dakota retracts it's working right wheel and drops its speed and altitude. It hits the sandy runway kicking up clouds of dust and slowly glides to a stop, resting lightly on its right wing. Danny throws down his headset and runs for the stairs closely followed by Face.  
"Are you all right sweetheart?" Murdock calmly asks over the headset.  
"Yes." A shaky voice answers.  
"Don't you worry. Help is on the way… Tower out."

Murdock quickly makes his way to the flashing lights at the end of the runway. The firefighters have started cooling down the hot metal belly of the plane, just in case. He admires the furrow the silver bird has made in the sand. _'That's one helluva pilot.'_ People are unsteadily exiting the plane and are being attended to by emergency personnel. Danny dashes into the cockpit to assist a young woman with long brunette hair. Face immediately steps forward and takes her in his arms to lift her from the open door. Murdock rolls his eyes. _'Typical…'_ He jogs past shaken passengers, towards the cockpit.  
Face turns toward his friend with the pretty girl still clinging to him. The conman feels her stiffen when she gets a glimpse of the lanky pilot.

"Ahum…" Danny snags the young woman from Face's arms, while simultaneously glaring at the man. The girl however pushes him away and takes a wobbly step toward Murdock. A look of recognition flashes across her face as she stares intently at him.  
"I know you."  
"Excuse me?!" Murdock's looks at the girl, startled. Unnerved by the stare he takes a step back and raises his hands, palms out to the side. When the girl takes another step towards him, a pickup slide to a stop beside them. An older woman hurls herself out of the car and envelops the girl in a tight hug.  
"Ooh Cass… I came as soon as I could!" The woman looks her over trying to find anything wrong with her daughter. "Are you hurt?" The girl shakes her head and Josie relaxes when she doesn't find any injuries or bleeding. More or less reassured she hugs her daughter again.  
"Mom…!" Cassidy gasps as she tries to escape her mother's arms.

B.A. comes up from underneath the left wing. "Looks like someone cut the hydraulic lines Hannibal." Murdock dashes past the hugging ladies and heads towards the plane, diving underneath it.  
"Look on here Colonel." Murdock reaches inside the wheel well. "The line was cut, but not all the way through. The gear would have held on takeoff, but it was fixin' to give on landing. They were lucky it happened here, not at another airport."  
"So what you're saying Captain, is that we are looking at sabotage?"  
Murdock glances towards where the brunette is still trying to wiggle out of her mother's grasp. He then looks at the colonel with a serious expression on his face. "Yes, Sir."

Danny heads back to the tower to finish his shift, while the rest head back towards the house where a worried father is waiting for their arrival. Murdock can feel the girl's eyes on him the entire ride. It gives him the creeps. The moment the girl sees Jack though, her strong front crumbles and tears start running down her cheeks. Cassidy runs to her father and practically crawls into his arms.  
"Oh sweetheart" Jack murmurs and presses a kiss to the top of her head. He rocks slightly from side to side like when she was still a little girl and actually fit on his lap. The major looks at the new arrivals. A blond man with a calculating gaze is scanning his surroundings. He recognizes that look instantly from Vietnam. He is accompanied by a tall lanky fellow with deep dark eyes and a brooding look upon his face. The colonel introduces them, but Jack is not really paying attention.

They sit around the kitchen when the colonel starts laying out his plan to catch the saboteur. Sweet smelling cigar smoke fills the room and Murdock is sauntering through the kitchen, his hands stuffed deep inside his pockets. Jack watches his movements from the corner of his eye, because something about the guy seems off. He can’t put his finger on it though… A few framed pictures capture the captain's interest and he meanders towards them. There's an old photograph of a much younger Jack, sitting in the cockpit of a Sky raider. He looks dashing, smiling at the camera giving a thumbs up. Murdock smirks at the rather ehm... colorful call sign painted on the side of the cockpit. Those navy guys sure had it tough in that department. That name would not pass the Nellis bar test. No sir… He moves on. There are a few family pictures and a photo of an older man beside an WW2 bomber. One picture, however, calls out to him like a beacon. Two men standing in front of a helicopter. Murdock puts his cap on backwards and leans in close to get a proper look at it. He instantly recoils and gasps stumbling into the kitchen table. Because there, on the wall in black and white, is his own face looking back at him.


	6. Blast from the Past

Murdock squeezes his eyes shut when he's assaulted by visions of the past. When he opens them, he's no longer in the kitchen… _He recognizes the smells of jungle. He's sitting in the cockpit of a huey. The chicken plate slightly constricting his chest…_ _The heat of the sun is beating down on the bird and he hears the deafening whop whop of the chopper blades._ Murdock starts to sway and feels someone grabbing his arm and holding him up. Someone is talking to him. _There are muffled voices in the back of the chopper. There's a man sitting in the pilot's seat and they are… laughing like old buddies…_  
Jack looks at the young man in total shock. He hadn't paid attention to him earlier but now he finally has a good view of the back of the leather flight jacket. A familiar tiger is staring back at Jack, frozen in a perpetual growl. Faded words read Da Nang 1970.

Murdock groans and grabs his head feeling the pressure in his head increasing. Recognizing the flashback for what it is, Face presses his forehead against the pilot’s while talking softly to him, hoping to coax him out of it. Murdock tries to shake himself loose from the memory, his eyes squeezed shut. Feeling his friend nearby, he instinctively grabs the back of Face’s head with both hands, desperately trying to ground himself. Josie's heart fills with sorrow at the pitiful sight of the pilot and his friend holding on to each other for dear life. She has seen the devastating effect it used to have on her husband and knows the pain of being helpless in the face of it. She glances at the rest of the team, who can only watch from the sidelines, unable to help their suffering friend.  
After a few minutes, but what feels like hours, Murdock finally starts to tremble, his muscles releasing their tension and Face relaxes marginally. Brown eyes slowly focus on the lieutenant’s blue ones and Face smiles. With a shuddering sigh, Murdock releases the death grip he had on Face and whispers a quiet thank you. Face slowly pulls Murdock to his feet and the pilot turns around.

His head is pounding, and he has trouble thinking. His eyes remain slightly unfocused and stare through the man sitting in the wheelchair. Jack takes one good look at the young man's face, finally connecting the dots.  
"Oh, my God," he gasps, putting his hand over his mouth, "you're Howard's boy…"  
_‘Howard…’_ The name enters his muddled brain, but Murdock is feeling too far removed from reality to react. Hannibal looks up sharply. 

Jack trails off and anything else being said is drowned out by the sound of his own blood roaring in his ears.   
_"And a howdy do to you too, boy…"_ The pilot is letting himself be led to the living room in a daze, the familiar voice echoing through his mind.   
"Do you need your medication?" Face asks him softly. Hunched over Murdock rubs the side of his face tiredly.  
"Uhm…" frowning he tries to think through the pain. Trying to remember his medication schedule “I’m… I don’t…” He shakes his head to clear it. "No, 'm fine. Jus' some pain killers, 's all." Hannibal nods and heads for Murdock's duffel bag in the van. Face pushes him down on the sofa and swiftly closes all the curtains ignoring the family's questioning looks. Hannibal returns with the duffel and Face starts to rummage through it in search of the proper medication. Fishing out a small plastic bag filled with little brown bottles he takes the right one and shakes two pills into his friend's hand.  
A dark, bejeweled hand is holding a tall glass of water to Murdock.  
_The man extends a hand to the new pilot, grinning widely. Welcome on board! I'm Howard Simms and I will be your Captain for the duration of your stay…_ Murdock swallows dryly, desperately trying to ignore the memories superimposing themselves on reality. "Thanks, big guy."

"You welcome." He says gruffly. _'fool…'_ the sergeant adds silently in his mind. B.A. felt helpless in these kinds of situations before and this time is no different. It pains him to see his friend crumble like that. During the war, he’d always been a little bit… off, but it usually was all good fun. Strong willed and incredibly smart _‘and stupid’_ he adds mentally, the man knew just how to push his buttons. Murdock saved his life more than once, pulling them out of insanely hot LZ's without so much as batting an eye. The miserable looking man sitting on the couch, is the polar opposite of the easygoing pilot he knew back in Nam. At least before the camps. B.A. saw the moment the medication kicked in, making Murdock's brown eyes droop. While Face settles his friend in a more comfortable position, B.A. picks up the remote control and turns on the TV, switching to an all cartoon channel. Face glances at him and nods his thanks. Hannibal is softly talking to Jack and Josie in the kitchen and Cassidy is watching from a distance. Knowing there's nothing more he can do he flees to his van. He's sure that he can get that nasty little rattle out before it becomes worse.

Cassidy inches her way closer to the man on the couch. Murdock is sighing and mumbling in his sleep. "Is he going to be okay?" she asks the blond man. Face looks down at his friend, smooths some of his thinning hair back and sighs.  
"Yeah… yeah, he's going to be fine. Don't worry. The flashbacks often cause migraines." Cassidy doesn't look reassured and eyes the little bottles lying on the table. Face follows her gaze and knows he's going to have to explain some things to her. He gets up from the floor and sits down heavily next to the young woman putting his elbows on his knees. "Not all of Murdock came back from Nam." He quietly watches the cartoons on the TV screen as he organizes his thoughts. "When he got sent back to the states, he… he was in a very dark place. He's been living in the VA's psychiatric ward even since…"

"He's insane?!" The brunette looks wide eyed at the sleeping man.  
"I couldn't tell you if I wanted to." Face laughs softly. "One moment he acts crazy with his sock puppets and crazy accents." The man smiles fondly at his friend and chuckles again. "And when you think you've finally figured him out, he turns around completely. He has pulled our asses out of the fire so many times." Face pauses, remembering the last time the captain saved their hides. "He still is the best pilot I know."  
"You're letting him fly?!" Cassidy's voice raises even higher.  
Face turns toward the girl. Blue eyes turned hard as steel, all fun and games gone.  
"I trust him with my life."  
Cassidy feels a shiver running down her spine. She gets the warning loud and clear.


	7. Nice to Meet You

While the pilot sleeps of the drugs in his system, B.A. makes himself useful taking up first watch. The sun has set, and the air is slowly cooling down making it much more comfortable to be outside. Taking his rifle from the van he turns to start on his first sweep of the airfield. The burly sergeant is on his way back from the second sweep when he spots movement in the dark. B.A. takes his radio and calls in. "Hannibal, we’re havin' company at the hangar."  
"Roger... On our way."  
B.A. crouches down next to the hangar door, his back against the wall and glances around the corner. He can see the moonlight glinting of the silver DC-3 the mechanics towed into the hangar to be repaired. B.A. waits patiently and is rewarded when he sees a shadow move from under the wing to a small red stunt plane at the back of the hangar. Silently the big man creeps towards the shadow tinkering with something near the engine. He moves until he is right behind the trespasser and pulls back the hammer.  
"Move and you're dead, sucker." B.A. barks.

"What have we here Sergeant?" Hannibal turns on his flashlight. A dark-haired man is scowling at the three team members. The colonel sees something glinting in the man's hand. "Drop it!" A few tools loudly clang on the floor and Face moves toward the man. Suddenly, the man turns and tries to land a punch on the lieutenant's face. All this talk of Vietnam has put Face on edge. Training kicks in and he overpowers the guy in a flash, twisting his hands behind his back.  
"That was a stupid idea." He hisses at the guy, twisting his arm just a little bit further. The man groans in pain.  
"Face...!" Face squeezes the arm just a tiny bit more and shoves him towards the colonel. B.A. picks up the tools that were dropped to the ground. Hannibal looks at the man and relights his cigar. "Guys, I think we found our saboteur."

They tie the guy to a chair in the middle of the hangar. Hannibal is circling around him an unlit cigar in his hands. His blue eyes are sparkling with the jazz. Face is hanging back smirking and BA is just looking his menacing self.  
"Who are you working for?" The colonel asks. The man defiantly stares back at Hannibal.  
"The man asked you a question, sucker!" B.A. cracks his knuckles and grabs the man by the front of his shirt. A look of uncertainty flashes across his face, but he keeps quiet. Face had been observing the guy’s body language and has an idea. ' _Tough guy eh…'_ Face decides to go for the kill.  
"Come on boss." He drawls, while retrieving a switchblade from his black leather jacket. "Let me just… you know…" he flips the blade for emphasis "cut him up a little…" The man's eyes lock onto the shiny blade. Hannibal looks thoughtful for a moment before stepping back.  
“Have fun.”  
The guy looks from Face to Hannibal and back.  
"You can't be serious?!" the man blurts out. Face signals for B.A. to let go and stalks towards his victim. The sound of the switchblade sliding in and out, cutting through the air. The guy tried his hardest to squirm backwards in the chair, not liking the crazy glint in the blond's eyes. "Please!" he pleads with the colonel, eyes wide and panicky. "Tommy! Tommy Jackson!" Hannibal puts his hand up to halt Face. The guy looks ready to wet himself. He bits of the end of his cigar and spits it at the man's feet. Face snaps open his lighter and Hannibal lights his cigar puffing contentedly. They squeeze some more information from the guy before knocking him out.  
"I think that we are going to have a little meet and greet with Tommy boy. He seems to be too small a fish to be working on his own. Put this piece of trash in the van.” Hannibal smirks, his blue eyes twinkling. “We're going to deliver a package."

They wait for first light to drive up to the safe house where Tommy usually can be found. Face is looking as suave as he always does, but Hannibal can see through the charade. The further they get from the house, the more worried he becomes.  
"He's going to be fine lieutenant."  
"I know, I know…" Face sighs.

The guys arrive at their destination, a badly maintained single story house. They load up their guns and wait for the colonel's orders.  
"B.A. you and I will knock on the front door with our delivery. Face you go around the back." Both men nod and Hannibal smirks. "Let's make some noise!"  
The big man kicks down the front door and Hannibal shoots up in the ceiling making everybody in the room drop to the floor.  
"We have a delivery for Tommy Jackson!" He shouts. B.A. drops the man on the doormat and cocks his rifle. When no answer is forthcoming Hannibal fires another few rounds hitting the mirrored bar at the other end of the room. Glass is raining down on the room’s occupants. "Come on now Tommy, you have to sign for it."  
"Who the hell are you?!" a male voice rings out from behind the sofa. Hannibal steps behind it and hauls up a guy in a tacky blue suit, by the scruff of his neck. He looks down on him in distaste.  
"I'm your worst nightmare."

Tommy shrugs himself out of Hannibal's grasp and makes a show of dusting himself off. The black guy is preoccupied by keeping an eye on the other men in the room and Tommy knows an opportunity when he sees one.  
"We'll see about that." He whips around with a gun in his hand only to feel the muzzle of a gun being pressed in the small of his back.  
"Ah ah aah…" Face reaches around the thug to take the weapon from his outstretched arm.  
"You've been a bad boy Tommy." Hannibal lights up a cigar, letting the rifle dangle from its strap. "I know you probably weren't aware of it, but you are trespassing into my territory. And I don't like trespassers…!" The colonel starts to circle around Tommy and Face, glass crunching underneath his boots.  
"Your territory?" Tommy bites out.  
"Yes." Hannibal punctuates his word with a stab of the cigar. "I, control the airstrip. When you play with the big boys Tommy, you can't expect not to be bitten now can you? B.A. check the rest of the house.”  
“You can’t do this!” Tommy is livid. Hannibal steps closer to the angry man.  
“I can, and I will. You **_will_** back off from the Simms’. I have my own pilot to do my dirty jobs for me." B.A. sets two overnight bags on the floor in front of his CO. Hannibal gestures for him to open them. He takes a drag from his cigar and smirks. Face whistles.  
"That's some serious money."  
Tommy starts to squirm, trying to get away from the gun pressing in his back, but Face is having none of it. He snarls at the lieutenant.  
“You have no idea who you’re dealing with!”

Hannibal grins at the other man. "Oh yeah, that reminds me. Call your boss."  
Face leads Tommy to a phone. "Go on… call him." Tommy hesitates but quickly picks up the receiver when he feels the muzzle move up to his head. The phone rings several times before it's picked up at the other end.  
"Mr. Hernandez? This is Tommy. There's been a…" Hannibal snatches the receiver from the man's hand.  
"Mr. Hernandez? Tommy is regrettably unavailable at the moment, but I have a proposition for you, you can't refuse …"

Eduardo Hernandez slams down the receiver. _'Who is this guy that thinks he can just move into MY territory. Stealing MY money!'_ Seething, he shouts for his goons and picks up the phone again. _'Senor Smith is not going to like his visit to El Paso. I'm going to make sure of it.'_


	8. So, what's the Plan Hannibal?

It's mid-morning when the team returns to the house, but Murdock has been up since 7 AM. Completely stiff from head to toe from sleeping on a couch that is far too small for someone of his height, he silently walks around the house trying to work the kinks out of his muscles. _'I feel like an old man. Blèh…'_ Murdock makes a face at that thought. He wanders into the kitchen and remembers the photograph. With some trepidation he makes his way towards the photo wall. _'It's really there…'_ The pilot reaches out with a trembling hand to take it off the wall. Closing his eyes briefly to get his emotions under control he sits down at the kitchen table. His throat constricts making him swallow thickly. Murdock takes a shuddering breath before opening his eyes. It's a picture of himself and Captain Simms in front of a Huey. They are both smiling widely. Murdock runs his fingers over their faces. He looked so young back then, just a boy. It's almost like another lifetime.

Yesterday sparked some memories he didn't know he'd forgotten. He remembers the first time he met Howard. He was a 1st Lieutenant and new to the 1st, Aviation Brigade. He'd flown with the Thunderbirds* until a mission had gone horribly wrong. Murdock clenches his fist, suppressing the memory. He even got a freaking medal for it! Already being short he'd applied for a new assignment and got transferred to Nha Trang.  
He had felt a little lost and very lonely when he arrived at the new base. Without knowing what else to do after reporting to his new CO, the 22-year-old wandered towards the helicopter parking ramps. His arm was still very sore after being shot during his last mission. He rubbed it unconsciously. Murdock saw a crew tying down the rotors of a Huey and laughing amongst each other. He sighed and leaned against the revetment nearest to him. After his time as an AC it might be nice to just be one of the crew. Get his bearings back. The young pilot tapped out a cigarette and lit it, inhaling deeply. After a while another man leaned next to him lighting his own cigarette.

"You new around here?"  
"Yeah, I guess ah am." Murdock drawled as turned to the guy. His eyes widened. "Sir!" He saluted.  
The man waves away the salute. "Don't bother with that. Do I spy a Texas accent there?" Murdock somehow feels instantly at ease with the man.  
"You are correct sir. 1st Lieutenant H.M. Murdock at your service." With a cheeky grin he adds: "Or as we say back home in Beaumont, Howdy do."  
The man laughs. "And a howdy do to you too, boy…" The man extends a hand to the new pilot, grinning widely. "H.M. Murdock eh… Welcome on board! I'm Howard Simms and I will be your Captain for the duration of your stay…"

Murdock is pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of someone clearing their throat. He looks up to see Josie standing in the doorway.  
"Good morning Captain." Josie says softly, smiling at the man sitting at the table. "You must be feeling awfully stiff after a night on the couch like that." Murdock looks down at his arm, ' _ah that's why it hurts...'_ He relaxes the death grip his fingers have on the appendage and shakes his head. Josie makes her way to the kitchen counter and starts to make coffee. Undeterred by his lack of response she turns to him. "There's a bathroom at the end of the hall. I left some towels out for you so you can freshen up a little." Suddenly feeling self-conscious Murdock takes in his own appearance. _'Rumpled clothes? Check… Itchy stubble? Check… Is that drool on my shirt? Eew…'_

"Thank you kindly ma'am." He responds, feeling slightly embarrassed. "An' please… jus' call me Murdock."  
Josie laughs at the expression on his face.  
"You're welcome and don't worry. You're not the first one that has ever sat at my table like that, and you will certainly not be the last." Josie waves him toward the hallway. "Take your time Murdock. When you're finished, breakfast will be ready. I'll save a cup of coffee for you."  
Murdock nods in thanks and heads toward the shower.  
"Murdock?" Josie calls out after him. The pilot turns around to look at her. "Thank you… for saving her…" Murdock flashes a smile at her and touches the brim of his cap.  
"Any time ma'am, any time..."

When Josie hears the shower running, she picks up the photograph the pilot left lying on the table. She smiles wryly at the people in the picture and the young man in particular. _'In the end, we never found you. Who knew… that_ ** _you_** _would find us…'_ Josie puts the photograph back on the wall lovingly and starts on breakfast.

Feeling thoroughly refreshed Murdock re-enters the kitchen and finds the rest of the team already there. They mill about trying to find themselves a seat. Face tries to get himself a spot next to Cassidy. All golden charm and dazzling white smiles, Face's way of dealing with coming down from a jazz high. His plans are thwarted by Danny and the poor girl ends up sandwiched between her dad and brother. _'Smart guy.'_ Murdock thinks to himself. Face ends up taking a seat opposite of the beautiful brunette. He sees her smiling coyly at his friend. Sigh... _'Why won't they ever learn.'_ Murdock takes the first seat he sees and ends up sitting next to Hannibal. Feeling the energy practically vibrating of the colonel he starts filling his bowl with cereal.  
"Had a good morning Colonel?" he asks casually as Josie puts the promised cup of coffee in front of him. He thanks her and puts his customary six sugars in his cup. Catching Danny's eye, Murdock can see that the guy doesn't really trust him, but he can’t remember what he did to deserve that.  
"Good morning, Captain. Thank you for asking." The colonel looks at him with gleaming eyes. "As a matter of fact, I had a splendid morning."  
"Splendid indeed." Face pipes up and flashes another smile at Cassidy.

Jack looks amused at their antics. "So, Colonel, what's the plan?" Taking a sip from his coffee, Hannibal starts his story.  
"As you all know, we caught our little saboteur red handed last night." Murdock looks up from his bowl. This is new information to him. "After a nice civil conversation, we dropped him off back home like the gentlemen we are and made our acquaintance with a lovely fellow named Tommy Jackson." Face reaches under his chair, retrieves a folder and hands it to the colonel. Hannibal opens it and takes a small photo from the file. "This the guy that attacked you?" Cassidy takes the picture and looks at it. "I don't know… it could be. I never really saw his face. I would recognize his voice though…"  
"It doesn't matter," Hannibal waves his hand dismissively "because I got some really good information anyway." The colonel turns the page. "Eduardo Hernandez… Mexican drug lord, specializes mostly in cocaine. Wanted in most US states, but he slips through the cracks time after time."  
"Sounds like a real sweetheart doesn't he." Jack takes the folder from the colonel to look over the information.  
"He does." replies Hannibal. "He has been trying to set up a line from the Mexican border through your airfield to get his product distributed. The pilot you fired was running drugs for our friend Tommy, but Hernandez is the big fish here."

Jack looks at Face with awe written on his face. "Where did you find all this?!"  
Face smiles benignly. "That would be a trade secret."  
"You stole 'em." B.A. growls.  
"B.A. I resent that…! I only borrowed them… without the intent of returning them" Face gripes.  
B.A. crosses his arms, making his muscles bulge. "You stole 'em." He repeats menacingly. Face looks at Murdock for help. A wicked smile flashes across the pilot's face before being hidden again.  
"Sure sounds like stealin' to me Faceman." Face throws his hands up in defeat and resumes eating his breakfast, grumbling under his breath. Cassidy shoots a glare in their direction and Murdock winks at her.

"I introduced myself as a new big player in the field." The colonel continues his story as if he wasn't interrupted. "He has agreed to meet me at the next air show you guys will do at El Paso."  
Jack doesn't look convinced. "The airshow?! What makes you think I will put my kids at risk for something like this!"  
"It's the only way to get Tommy and his goons off your back!" Hannibal's blue eyes clash with the major's green ones, neither of them backing down. "Besides, I've told him I have my own pilot." Hannibal looks at Murdock who points at himself and mouths _'Me?'_

"And I have something he wants… All we need now is a plane."


	9. Who Let the Dogs Out!

Jack keeps his eyes on the colonel thinking things over. Josie looks at her children and sees the fighting spirit they both possess reflected in their eyes. She knows that their decision has already been made.  
"Can you guy's please excuse us? We want to discuss this before making a decision."  
Hannibal nods in understanding.  
"Take your time. We're going to hit the hay for a few hours." Hannibal stands up, his back creaking. "I'm really getting too old to pull all-nighters." The men help clear the table and head for the guest bedrooms to get some shut eye. Murdock of course, is wide awake and while the family discusses their strategy, he wanders outside to look at the sky for a bit. Two small airplanes are drifting above the airfield. Practicing touch and go's, rolling on a heading, and other maneuvers. It's peaceful… Murdock leans on a wooden fence and sighs. It has been a long time since he has had the time to just enjoy the moment.

After a while he spots movement to his left. He turns his head and sees Cassidy walk up to him. She looks unsure of herself, so he smiles at her. Shyly returning the smile she comes to a halt next to him and leans her arms on the fence. They look at the blue sky for a while.  
"I haven't gotten to thank you yet." She says without taking her eyes of the planes circling around.  
"You don't have to Chiquita." Murdock replies softly.  
"No, I do!" She says heatedly her green eyes glossy with unshed tears. "I…" she swallows and looks at the ground. "I've never been scared up there before. Not like that anyway… I…" Cassidy tries to sift through her thoughts, trying to find the right words. "The sky means freedom to me… Without flying… They almost…"  
"They almost clipped your wings." Murdock supplies knowingly.  
"Yes…" The word comes out in a huff.  
Murdock turns to her and holds out his arm. "Come 'ere."  
Cassidy studies his face, looking for the crazy she witnessed yesterday and Murdock lets her. Not moving a muscle under her intense scrutiny. He looks calm, his eyes warm. He still looks strangely familiar though she couldn't lay her finger on why she felt like that. Murdock's just about to give up when she comes to a decision and moves to return his one-armed hug. Together they stand in companionable silence until they are called back in by the colonel.

Jack wheels himself in front of the team. "We have come to a decision. While I may not have an extra plane lying around, I may have come up with something better." Jack's eyes twinkle in mirth. "And I think you're going to like it flyboy."

Murdock is feeling giddy. Better than an airplane probably means a helicopter. He knows that these rotary workhorses are very much underestimated, especially by those of the fighter plane persuasion. But in his book a good helicopter is always better for getting into, and more importantly, getting **_out_** of tight situations than any airplane. Together they walk to a big shed that's situated right behind the main hangar. Danny pulls open the double doors, shedding light into the building for probably the first time in years. Exited, Murdock skips towards the open door, talking animatedly to B.A. who valiantly ignores the pilot's antics. As soon as he steps over the threshold though he freezes. His muscles become taut and he desperately tries to suck in air. He feels like he is suffocating, because there in the shadows is a very familiar looking Huey in all its dusty glory.  
"Billy…" he gasps breathlessly.

"I told you, there ain’t no dog fool!” B.A. barks exasperated but shuts up when he sees the warning glare from his CO. Hannibal saw the way that Murdock is looking at the bird with glassy eyes, chest heaving.  
_Right before his eyes, one bird goes down in a big ball of flames while his own chopper suddenly violently lurches to the left. An explosion rocks the helicopter and the feeling of free falling makes his stomach churn.  
“We’ve been hit! Hold on!”  
The green canopy is coming towards them at a frightening speed. Desperately fighting the controls, Murdock tries to keep his bird from plummeting to the jungle floor, but it’s no use. The screeching sound of technology hitting nature and losing badly fills every fiber of his being. Captain Murdock hears the voices of his team in the back. Their shouts of fear being drowned out by the scream of the engine as the main rotor blades are ripped from the rotor assembly above his head. Petey, always laid back Petey is calling for God, his mom and anyone else that’ll listen._  
Face grabs Murdock by the arms and shakes him slightly.  
"Murdock, can you hear me?" Murdock grabs the blond conman and yells at him.  
"Hold on! We’re goin’ down!"   
_"Howling Mad, this is Howard. Can you hear me, please respond!"_ The pilot looks at his friend, but there's no recognition in his eyes. _"I repeat, this is Howard calling Howling mad. Please respond!"_  
"Damn, he thinks he's back in Nam." B.A.'s voice sounds stressed.

The pilot starts to shake his head.  
"No, no" He puts his hands over his ears to try and drown out the sounds. "No not again, please."   
_"H.M.! God… please respond!"_   
Murdock swallows a sob and falls to his hands and knees on the concrete floor. He can feel the pressure on his head increasing. Panting and gasping he desperately tries to shake himself free of the pain. Faintly he hears the voice of Hannibal call out his name before it hits him with a vengeance.   
_The smell of burnt flesh and blood fills his nose. He's hanging from his harness inside the crashed helicopter. "H.M. if you can hear this…We are ordered to fall back; Billy took too much of a beating. But sit tight son... I will come for you!"  
'Howard…' Murdock is feeling dazed. A quick check confirms his suspicions about a head wound when his fingers come back covered in blood._ _  
_ " _Murdock! Are you all right?" His sluggish brain struggles to formulate an answer. 'Face…' Swallowing dryly he turns to the lieutenant, trying to ignore the world spinning before his eyes._  
" _Yeah, yeah… I think so" Face looks at him with worry in his eyes, but there is no time to act on it._ _  
_ " _Come on, we have to move. Charlie will be all over us like fleas on a stray dog if we don't move now!" The lieutenant scrambles back out of the cockpit._

' _Petey?' Murdock looks at his peter pilot and quickly squeezes his eyes shut trying to keep himself from vomiting. 'He don't need saving no more…' With trembling fingers, the captain fumbles with the buckle. He flops heavily onto the blood-spattered control panel when it finally gives way. Drops of his own blood hitting the Plexiglas are forming some kind of sickening Rorschach inkblot. It almost makes him sick again. 'God, I don't think I can ever look at one of them stupid things again!'_ _  
_ " _Move it people!" he can hear Hannibal shout. Agonizingly slow he makes his way outside of the mangled chopper. After hitting the ground, he starts to retch instantly._ _  
_ " _Damn it Hannibal, he has a concussion." B.A. snaps after checking the pilot's pupils. Murdock can feel himself slipping. Vietnamese voices can be heard all around them. Shouting at them to drop their weapons. His vision is graying around the edges and the world keeps swaying. He tries to stay awake, he really does, but the pull is much stronger than him. The last thing he sees is the face of a VC soldier grinning at him down the barrel of an AK-47 before losing consciousness._

Murdock is still on his knees, his arms now wrapped tightly around his body.  
"Murdock it's us, you're safe." Face tries again, keeping the swaying pilot from smashing into the concrete floor. Danny looks at the pilot with shock written all over his face. _‘The guy is insane!’_  
The lanky pilot suddenly surges up and wobbles towards the chopper running his fingers along its metal skin. There, on the pilot's door is a name in white paint.

-BILLY-

_3 weeks after the crash:  
The bamboo bars of the barrack walls are biting into his skin, but he doesn't have the energy to move away. Any movement causes agony to course through his body, so he keeps as still as humanly possible. Murdock knows, much of it is his own damn fault anyway. He’s on a path of self-destruction he just doesn’t seem to be able to deviate from. He sings show tunes, to keep himself from screaming every time he is hung from the ropes. He calls them names in every language he can remember when they hit him with the bamboo cane. 'God, I could do without bamboo for the rest of my life.’ Murdock lets out a shaky breath, rattling his aching ribs. ‘They sure seem to be takin’ a likin’ to me...’ A lone tear escapes unnoticed, rolling down his cheek and onto the wood floor. Forgotten… Like him…_

_He had been murmuring beneath his breath for day's now. Sometimes he catches himself doing it and desperately tries to suppress it. 'How long will it take for the flyboy to break…' Murdock scoffs. 'Apparently not that long…' He can barely keep himself from giggling madly at the thought._ _He has seen the looks the men have been giving him. They know he is going crazy. Murdock shakes his head violently. 'I can't… Please God I can't…' He prays, grabbing fistfuls of his hair in despair. 'They don't let crazy pilots fly…'_ _  
Murdock feels a sob trying to escape, his throat constricting. Face does everything he can to keep him grounded and he tries, he really tries. Nevertheless, he feels more of himself slip away every time he is dragged to the shack at the far end of the camp and it's scaring the crap out of him._


	10. Some Things are Better Left Forgotten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A typical A-team like Hannibal's would have consisted of 6-8 members with various specialties like explosives and ammunition, engineering, medical etc. Now bear with me, because I'm not military. (This is the part where people who are, can laugh at my attempts to make this work) I firmly believe the writers of the show just chose a few ranks to make it look interesting. Having a Lt. Colonel in a special ops group is a bit unrealistic as they usually consist of Sergeants and Lieutenants all of which are experts in their own field. We are just going to have to assume that Hannibal's team was unique in every way. I chose to make it a team with 6 members. Hannibal, Face, BA, Sergeant Young (engineer) and Sergeant Olsen (medic) and one currently unnamed member.  
> Murdock is an oddball too. Not only because of his rank, but his status as the team's pilot as well. Normally a chopper would be 'owned', fueled and maintained by a ground crew. A pilot would look upon a roster to see which bird was 'his' for the duration of the mission. Since Hannibal's team is unique, I made Murdock's unique too. The units are separated as they belong to different divisions but work closely together for missions by the team. So, Murdock flies for the A-team, but dust off’s for the 1st Aviation Brigade as well. His crew consist of Petey, Kowalski (gunner) and Owens (chief)

_Murdock's shaking badly after a particularly nasty beating. He rocks from side to side listlessly, rhythmically banging his head against the wall. His brown eyes are dully gazing out onto the courtyard. The camp guards don’t even see the need to keep him shackled anymore. They know when a man has been broken.  
"Billy's coming… Billy's coming… You'll see… He promised…"_ _  
__The sergeant is practically bursting at the seams from rage and grief. His friend has lost all contact with the world. His only reaction to touch is to shy away in pain and fear, not eating until someone found the energy to feed him…_ _  
_" _Billy's coming… Billy's coming… come here boy…" the pilot gasps shallowly between his words, courtesy of several cracked ribs. Despite the doc’s best intentions, he just didn’t have the resources to take care of Murdock any longer._  
_Face had tried so hard to keep him sane, keep him connected to the team, to the reality_ ** _none of them_** _wanted to face. Even Sergeant Young spent his time taking care of the ailing man. Despite the rocky start between both men. Between beatings and bouts of lucidity, he’d become more and more lost within his different personas until the real man just disappeared. The pilot had retreated into his mind, lost to the world and his friends including himself. Deep in his heart he knows that Murdock did everything in his power to stay with them. But the feeling of betrayal is slowly poisoning his heart._

_Last night, Hannibal had taken all his remaining team members aside. Told them they might have to leave their friend behind when they attempt their escape. Face had initially been livid, but exhaustion had rather quickly doused the flame of his anger. He’d been sitting with Murdock’s head on his lap, gently swaying and brushing his brown hair away from his fevered brow. The pilot had shown no indication he’d heard anything that was being said. He’d just kept jibber jabbering under his breath until the lieutenant gently shushed him. Face eventually conceded and B.A.’s heart broke for the lieutenant. Murdock is just too far gone… No trace of the strong-willed man remained in the empty husk being propped up by Face. The lieutenant had retreated as far as he could and cried, his shoulders heaving with silent sobs while cradling his unresponsive best friend in his arms. Even Kowalski and Owens, Murdock’s own crew, accepted Hannibal’s decision._

_B.A. clenches his eyes shut. They are planning to leave Murdock to his fate. The sound of Murdock’s ragged breathing is grating on his nerves. Why couldn't the fool just be strong like the rest om them... like him!_ _  
_ " _Billy's coming… Billy's coming…"_ _  
B.A. has finally had enough. 'Why can't he just shut up!'_  
" _Shut up fool!" He snarls at the pilot through clenched teeth. He grabs the man's black shirt, trying to shake some sense into him, ignoring the throaty moans of pain that escape from Murdock's cracked lips. B.A. gets into his friends face and puts his hands around his throat and squeezes, making Murdock feebly grab his wrists.  
"There ain't no dog here you fool! Nobody will come for you…!”_

"Nobody will come fer you..."  
Murdock doesn't notice the words that tumble from of his mouth, but B.A.'s blood freezes upon hearing them. He had thought the pilot had forgotten about his most shameful moment. He hated himself for losing it like that back then. B.A.'s fists clench. He remembers the relief that shone in the pilot's eyes when he wrapped his hands around Murdock's throat and started squeezing. He vividly remembers the silent thank you that spilled from his friend’s lips, his eyes clear for the first time in days. He also remembers the look of anguish that flashed across Murdock’s face when the sergeant finally came to his senses and dropped the other man to the floor…  
" _Billy's coming…"_ The pilot's weakened voice echoes through his skull.  
Suddenly the huge black sergeant sucks in a breath and looks at Hannibal in shock and shame. "Billy's real Hannibal! And I was gonna… we were gonna…" B.A. swallows thickly "leave him… to die." He whispers the last part, trying to ignore his own words. Face flinches visibly, subconsciously taking a step back.  
Murdock let's out a high-pitched keening wail that leaves him panting and sags against the helicopter. He presses his forehead against the metal, running his long fingers over the white paint. Recognition sends shivers down the team’s spines. It's the sound their friend made when H.M. Murdock finally gave up the fight.

Cassidy had somehow run off without them noticing and returned with her father in tow. Jack wheels into the barn just in time to hear the anguished cry rip from the younger man's throat. Even though he'd heard from his daughter what happened, seeing it with his own eyes was something else. He thought the flashback in the kitchen was bad, but this was unlike anything he has ever experienced. He had suffered from flashbacks too when he was shipped back home. A dropped plate could send him right back into the burning cockpit, his legs a mess of screaming agony. The years however had dulled the memories to a bearable degree. The looks on the team's faces tell him they are in above their heads as well.

"Why didn't he come fer me…?" Jack's head whips around to look at the pilot. He almost doubts his hearing, because Murdock looks like he hasn't moved a muscle. Looking closely at him however, he sees small tremors running up and down Murdock's limbs. "Why didn't he come fer me…?" His voice sounds ragged, words slurring together.  
"What?" Jack finally manages to croak out.  
"Dammit Major, you lost yer legs not yer ears! Why didn'he come fer me…?!" Murdock whips around, his eyes burning with an intense rage. He stalks towards the man in the wheelchair when he's being intercepted by Face.  
"Murdock calm down." Murdock's dark eyes lock onto his and he feels chilled to the bone. Face hasn't seen this side of Murdock since Vietnam and never directed at himself. He had seen the results of that look and the state of the pilot's fists, after backing him up in several bar fights.  
"Captain stand down!" If he hears Hannibal's order, he doesn't show it. The situation seems eerily similar to the one after the disastrous mission at Khe Sanh. Face shakes his head at his team members. _'Stay back.'_ He mouths.

Murdock begins to squint through the growing headache.  
"He promised he'd come fer me…" He suddenly remembers all the times the older pilot showed him pictures of his family. Pictures of his brother in the navy, of his son. He remembers fighting to hang on to his sanity. For the team, for himself, for the man that treated him like he meant something. To wait for a rescue that never came. His face contorts in an almost animalistic fury "Why did yer brother leave me in that hellhole!" Face almost loses his grip on the shaking captain when he lunges for the major, emotion taking over banishing all rational thought.  
"You don't know that Murdock." His friend's voice tries to reach him through the red fog surrounding his head. The pain is increasing drastically making it extremely difficult to concentrate. His mind is running, the wheels in his head churning. Dragging up memory after memory and things he'd blessfully forgotten about pushed their way to the front. _'Leave no man behind'_.  
"Like you were any better!" he seethes between clenched teeth. Face flinches in the face of Murdock's righteous anger. The words hitting him like punch in the gut.

At some point during the altercation Danny had moved in front of his father eyeing the pilot with distrust. Jack pushes him aside and tries to look Murdock in the eye.  
"Son, don't you remember? You were outnumbered! He had to fall back. His bird was the only one that got out!”  
Murdock halts, his body rigid. Ready to spring into action the minute Face let up. Undeterred by the promise of sudden violence, Jack wheels his wheelchair closer to the barely contained man. "Son, he searched for you, but you were moved to another site." Jack closely watches the emotions flitting over Murdock's face. The pain, the anger but most importantly the doubt. "He..." he swallows thickly, his voice rough with grief. "He never stopped looking for you son.” Jack forces out the words, hoping his honesty would get through to the pilot. “HM... Howard… he… he was killed during a shelling. For god's sakes, he died before you were saved… He never knew you were saved!"  
Murdock locks eyes with the major's, trying to gauge the truth of his words while a fuzzy memory forces itself to the foreground. The sympathetic face of some nameless nurse telling him that Captain Simms had been killed.  
" _I'm sorry for your loss..."_   
"I'm sorry son..."  
"No..." he whispers brokenly.  
Exhausted he sags bonelessly into Face's arms. The headache has grown to a full-blown migraine and the light is hurting his eyes.  
"Please Face,” Murdock mumbles tiredly “I'm jus' so tired…"  
“I know buddy.” Face whispers, “I know.”

Together they manage to get the pilot back to the house and into bed. Face is silently keeping vigil with his back against the headboard and his legs stretched out on the bed beside his friend. Murdock's face is slack in his drugged sleep. Hannibal watches the duo from the doorway. _'Time to think of a new plan…'_


	11. Who's That Boy?

Face remembers when the chopper crashed in the Vietnamese jungle in 1970. He was sure that the only reason most of them survived were the amazing flying skills of his friend. Their communications officer, Sergeant Suarez had died upon impact, as well as Murdock’s copilot. The VC were on them in in a matter of minutes and his heart stopped when he saw one of them poke the unconscious pilot with the barrel of his rifle. When the soldier rattled off something in Vietnamese and motioned for B.A. to carry Murdock, Face let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. When they arrived at the camp, Murdock was singled out almost instantly. Taking advantage of the confusion caused by his head injury they made him their pet project. Face shakes himself like a wet dog… Murdock had been slipping since that first day and Face was sure it was because his brain never got the time to heal properly.

After he'd heard that godawful scream they found Murdock lying against the wall, gasping for breath. His body was limp like a rag doll and there was a look of pure desolation on his face. B.A. had a panicked look on his face, wringing his hands repeatedly like he was washing them clean. Hannibal nor Face could get either man to talk about what happened, no matter how hard they tried. In the end, it'd hardly mattered because few days later they were saved by American troops that had come across the camp by accident. Talk about luck… Surprisingly, it was Sergeant Young that carried the pilot to the waiting choppers.  
“Never leave a man behind.”

They were taken to Cam Ranh Bay to be treated and regain their strength. After weeks of showing absolutely no reaction to his surroundings, Murdock eventually started talking again but never mentioned his experiences at the camp. It was like they had been erased, his brain had been reset.

The pilot had once told Face that people think they have a memory but in reality, their memories have them. Sometimes it's better not to remember at all than to be forced to remember everything.   
"Don't let it eat at ya…"   
Back then he was as green as they come and Murdock was in the last leg of his first tour. Even though the pilot was two years younger than him, he'd been battle hardened by his time in country. The LT had walked up to him after pulling them out of his first true firefight with the team. Face had felt numb. The mission had been a disaster. He had lost his helmet like a FNG and Ray Brenner gave him his. The sergeant had been sure that he would be booted out of the SOG-team Hannibal was forming, when word got around about his mistake. What would he do then… Go back to the brig? Hannibal had been very clear about the consequences of failing to live up to expectations. They just sat for a while in the back of the chopper, smoking a cigarette until Murdock patted him on the shoulder and shared his wisdom. He'd pondered the pilot's words, but didn't really understand them back then, but after the camp… Face shuddered. In the end, it was Murdock who got eaten alive.

He must have fallen asleep somehow because he just woke up to a dark room with a crick in his neck. Face rubs his eyes and yawns. Seeing that Murdock is still asleep, he quietly moves from the bed into the hallway.  
He nods at Jack who is apparently waiting for one of them to wake up. He waves a thermos and cup at the conman. "I thought you might need some when you woke up."  
Face smiles. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were army." Jack snorts at that.  
"You wish… Does he often have these flashbacks?"  
Face sighs. "No, it has been a while. Years actually." He takes a seat in the chair placed conveniently in the hallway.  
"He didn't remember did he…?"  
Face looks at his sleeping friend through the open door. "He suffers from intermittent memory loss." Jack nods in understanding but doesn't interrupt. "He is my best friend you know, my brother in all but blood. I would die for him and he would do the same for me. But I can't fix this for him…" Face sees Cassidy sneak into the room. "Some things are better left forgotten, but when they do resurface… He pays for it dearly." The twenty-year-old moves closer to the bed and sits on the edge. Without any hesitation, she takes the pilot's hand in her own and rubs her thumb along his long fingers. Jack smiles at the sight.  
"They sure seem to have taken a liking to each other."  
"You're not worried?" Face asks, surprised.  
"Nah… They're cut from the same cloth." Jack salutes the lieutenant with his cup and smirks.

Hannibal sits alone in the living room. His head in his hands in a rare show of weakness.  
"You're a good man Hannibal…"  
The colonel chuckles. "You have a real knack for sneaking up on unsuspecting officers, ma'am."  
"Well, the unsuspecting ones are the easiest target." Josie smiles. "Let's say I have a lot of experience." She pauses and puts a comforting hand on the older man's shoulder. "I know what's it's like, having to watch someone break down and not be able to do anything about it. It takes a lot of willpower not to break down ourselves." Josie feels a small shudder go through the colonel. "Jack's doing all right now and the kids are all grown up. So, I have some strength left to share." Hannibal sighs deeply and puts his hand on hers. He squeezes her fingers lightly.  
"Thank you Josie."

Murdock awakes to soft voices in the hallway. He can hear the distinctly nasal voice of his best friend and what sounds like Jack Simms. He feels a warm soft hand rubbing his fingers and arm. Opening his eyes to slits he can faintly make out the face of Cassidy, looking thoughtful. Murdock is contemplating letting her know he is awake when something in the hallway sparks his interest.  
"So…" Face starts, draining his cup of the last bit of coffee. "How did you manage to get that chopper back here? And how did Murdock know you were brothers?"  
Jack had been expecting that question and for the first time in years, he was okay with talking about his brother.

"You know, I never understood why Howard preferred the damn things over good old fashioned wings." Jack laughs softly. "I always told him they were just overgrown lawnmowers waiting to be shot down." The major pauses, reminiscing the good old days. "Howie served in Korea before dropping out of the army to take over up this place and take care of his family. This used to be an army aviation training strip, but needed a new purpose after the second world war. When the demand for chopper pilots rose, he volunteered, retaining the rank of Captain, and got deployed to Vietnam. That's where he met your friend Murdock." Jack gestures at the room. "My brother and I often wrote to each other. That's where the photograph downstairs comes from..."

"So, that's why Cassidy knew him from somewhere." Face says, his expression pensive. The major nods affirmatively.   
"After Howard died, our dad pulled some strings and got the chopper shipped back to the US and restored. It took some searching though, because it was handed off to other pilots after him. It was completely shot up by the time we found it and was going to be scrapped anyway."  
"Must have been some big strings though." Face states, contemplating the amount of paperwork that had to be pushed to make something like this happen. He vividly remembers the newsreel footage of millions worth of choppers being dumped overboard during the evacuation of Saigon. He idly wonders what Murdock's reaction would have been to seeing his beloved chopper being dumped like that. Face sighs. He could have done it sure… But would he have? Remembering the state his friend was in when they finally found him... No strings would have been big enough to have made any difference. Not then... He shakes his head. Maybe not even now. 

Face remembers the older pilot clearly. Tall and lean with a mustache and dark brown eyes. They could have been brothers if not for their age difference. The diabolical duo was always in for some fun when together. They were the scourge of many base camp, both feared and admired. All his experience as a conman could never protect him from their wicked sense of humor and he often fell victim to their pranks. Both men sit in silence for a while.  
"Murdock didn't fly with your brother during his second tour but I remember him. Murdock had his own bird by then."  
"That's true."  
Suddenly he's struck by something Jack said the other day. His attention had been on his friend, but the memory had somehow stuck. Blue eyes open wide, Face looks at the major. "You said Howard's boy… Does this mean…?"

Jack looks at the floor, clenching his jaw a few times to get his emotions under control.   
"Everything fit, you know. The year, Beaumont, the name of the girl… And then my nephew Theo, was shot down and killed.” Jack pauses. “Howard had nothing left in Nam except for Billy and..." They both look up startled when they hear a strangled gasp come from the bedroom. Murdock is clinging to the door sill. Cassidy is rubbing comforting circles along his back, her eyes wide open in shock.  
"There wasn’t any hard evidence H.M., but Howard never stopped looking for you. You have to believe that." Jack looks up at Murdock's pale face, looking deep into his brown eyes trying to convey his sincerity. "We tried to find you after the war, but at every turn the military stonewalled us and when the suits turned up… we knew we were outnumbered…" Jack looks away, a hand rubbing his eyes. "The chopper was the only piece of them… of you we had left…" Face grabs the older man's arm and forces Jack to look at him. Willing him to say the words he's afraid to ask, Murdock is grabbing the wood so hard his fingers turn white.

"Howard believed that H.M.’s his son."


	12. The Jazz is on

The next morning found Cassidy up in the air, brushing up on her stunt routine. The blue sky and roaring engine work to clear her mind. She signals her two wing men to proceed into formation flying. Last night she found out that she may or may not have found a cousin in Murdock. Her father had explained to them that Uncle Howard never knew for sure. And in the end, it had hardly mattered to him when he had lost his only son to the war. Having a ‘maybe’ son was enough. Cassidy wasn’t sure if Murdock had forgotten about all of this, or that her uncle never told him. Going by Face’s reactions, she expected the latter though. Murdock had taken it all in without ever saying a word, his face showing no expression whatsoever. When her dad finished his story he just stood up and left. Face stopped her from following, silently telling her to give him space. Cassidy’s eyes tear up. She felt a connection to the older pilot, one that went beyond knowing him from a black and white photograph. She squints through the windshield and angrily wipes them away. Tomorrow they will fly to their annual El Paso air show and she needs to get her head screwed on tight.

Hannibal parks the loaned pickup he’d been driving around mindlessly. He had been up all night, thinking about his team. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get his sergeant's words out if his head.   
_"Billy's real! And we were gonna leave him to die."_ Hannibal swallows... The leader in him knows that the choice had been out of his hands back then. Murdock had already been teetering on the edge ever since he got the letter telling him his grandmother had passed away. His mother had died when he was five and she had raised her grandson like he was her own. So, the pilot had lost two mothers by the time he was 23 years old. No care packages or letters came for the pilot after that. Nobody seemed to care for him. Hannibal sighs at the memory. Combined with the horrors of war, he became depressed and unstable. Drinking and fighting men twice his size. Even Hannibal himself hadn’t been safe from the pilot’s legendary temper. When the colonel talked to him about it, he never got a straight answer. The young captain just kept his gaze firmly on the wall, hiding behind military conduct. Hannibal rubs his face and stares at the steering wheel. He had felt helpless to do anything other than include the man in their group even though the pilot wasn't special forces. Just to keep an eye on him.

" _You said we'd never leave a man behind...!"_ Face had all but shouted at him, his eyes burning like liquid fire. The man in him remembers the conversation he had with what was left of the team. What he believed he would have to do. He had tried his hardest never to think about it, or the looks on every one’s faces, again in the years after. Hannibal thinks about the wisdom his own CO had imbued into him.   
_"Remember it, but never think about it."_ The colonel scoffs. He was there at the VA hospital when they brought Murdock in. The pilot hadn't been able to keep the lid on it any longer once they were arrested and shipped out. He got sent home with a medical discharge and spent a few months on the streets of LA. After their escape in ‘72, the team caught wind of him being shipped back after a botched CIA job in Vietnam and he had disguised himself as an orderly to check on his man. The confident pilot and brave friend they knew and loved was just… gone… Even further than when they were still in the camps. Absolutely no lucidity remained in Murdock’s eyes.  
Completely lost in his thought, he fails to see movement around the car. Suddenly the car door is ripped open and Hannibal is looking down the barrel of a gun.  
"Hi there." He manages to say before he is promptly knocked out by none other than Tommy Jackson.

B.A and Face are making use of their idle time by cleaning and maintaining their guns. They don't know where Hannibal is but given the circumstance, they assume that he is thinking up a new harebrained scheme. One without their pilot…  
Everybody knows it, but nobody breathes a word. Jack clicks together his service pistol and puts it on the table, wiping his hands on a rag. He never thought he would ever have to use it again, but protecting his children is what it is going to do. Face glances up from his own rifle to the gun and Jack. He sees the hardened expression on the man's face and contemplates offering some reassurance but changes his mind. The major is a soldier too even though it has been a while since he saw active combat. He knows the dangers they are going to face.

Murdock has been sitting on the couch watching cartoons ever since he came back from god knows where. Both Cassidy and Josie tried to reach him, but both admitted defeat after a few tries. Danny is keeping an eye on him, not trusting the crazy man one bit! The pilot seems lost in his mind or has just lost it, Danny doesn't know for sure. When he first saw the guy, he couldn't quite place where he had seen him before, but now he remembers. He remembers the roaring tiger. The smile on his aunt’s face when she wrapped the custom A2 jacket. First in brightly colored and then thick brown paper to be shipped to Vietnam for Theo’s birthday. He had been 10 years old and he had adored his big cousin. After Theo had been sent back to be buried, the jacket had not been with his personal effects. Little did they know that Uncle Howard had gifted it to Murdock instead. Danny clenches his fist and resumes staring at loony tunes. This guy has nothing on Theo…  
the phone ringing interrupts his thoughts. Cassidy still hyped up from her flight picks up the receiver and freezes. Face immediately notices and signs to Jack to ask if there's another phone in the house. B.A. quickly moves over to Cassidy and silently starts the recording equipment they'd installed, just in case.

Face picks up the receiver in the den.  
"…old you to do as we tell you to do!"  
"You… who are you?" The girl's voice trembles.  
"That's not for you to know missy. We have a little surprise for you though." Laughter sounds in the background. Some scuffling can be heard and then a distinctive clear voice sounds over the receiver.  
"Hiya guys."  
"Hannibal!" Cassidy, not knowing what to do looks at B.A. for help. He points at the device and signals her to keep talking.  
"Hannibal, are you all right?"  
"Yeah he is quite all right, aren't you, old man." More laughter and then the sound of someone getting punched in the stomach.  
"Stop hurting him!" Cassidy all but screams. B.A. reaches for the phone but is beaten to it by Murdock who snatches it from the girl’s hand.

"Who is this?!" He snarls into the receiver. Murdock can hear fighting going on in the background and the voice of the colonel telling the goons they hit like little girls… ooffff! Murdock flinches… That didn't go over too well apparently.  
"You must be the pilot then?" The voice asks.   
“What’s it to ya.” Murdock asks, his voice carefully kept neutral.   
"Mister Hernandez is very angry with you trespassing into his territory but, BUT… he isn't an evil man." The pilot scoffs. The voice continues, undeterred. "He is willing to overlook this transgression if you return to him, the money you took."  
"And if we don't?"  
"Well then, we are going to see just how many bullets this man can eat, aren't we… Now here’s what’s going to happen…"

When Murdock puts down the receiver the gang discuss the information given by the caller.  
"Sounds like our friend Tommy, don't you think B.A.? Face asks the burly sergeant. B.A. nods. Cassidy seems shaken by the whole thing and is whispering intently to her brother who is looking increasingly livid by the second. They are startled by Murdock who starts giving orders like he’s born to it.  
"Gimme a map of El Paso and in particular the airport where this here show is gonna be held." With Face being Hannibal’s second in command, nobody was expecting the orders to come from their wacky pilot. For a short time, everybody seems to be frozen. Unsure of this new situation, Face and BA glance at each other. "NOW!" the captain barks and they scramble.  
Murdock clears the table in the kitchen and unfolds the map that is handed to him. Everybody gathers around it. He points at the map. "Here's the strip where them planes will be taking off from." The captain grabs a marker and starts circling things on the map. "The public will be sittin' here." Another circle is drawn. "The colonel will be held here for the pickup."

"It's in plain view of the public." Face states. "We won't be able to do anything without being seen."  
Murdock taps the marker against the paper in thought. Face and B.A. look at him in awe. They haven't seen this side of the pilot since Nam. Not since the camps anyway. A hundred percent the officer he was trained to be.  
"This area is slightly elevated bein' on a ridge. B.A., I need some of your lil' surprises ready to go here, here and here." Murdock looks at Jack. "Jack, you said that Billy was restored proper, that correct?" The major's feeling a bit dazed by the change in the pilot's behavior.  
"Ehm... yes…"  
"Does that mean it's in the same condition it was in country? No changes to the gun mounts?"  
Jack's eyes widen, catching on about what Murdock is asking.  
"No, it's completely the same…" Jack smirks at the captain and is rewarded with a return smirk.  
"Lieutenant!" Murdock barks at the conman. Face has to fight the urge to stand at attention for a bit. Murdock smirks, reveling at how he was still able to catch his friend off guard.   
"Yes?"  
Murdock bounds past Face to a beautifully crafted cabinet and pulls out a single record. John Philip Sousa’s, Stars and Stripes Forever. Lovingly running his fingers over the glossy red cardboard cover, he holds it up for all to see. The jazz is singing through his veins and his smirk grows impossibly wider.  
"Get me some guns… Big 'uns. I have a plan!"


	13. I'm Sorry

It's the day before the big airshow and everybody's working hard to get everything done. Jack has his mechanics go over the chopper while B.A. installs all the shiny new toys Face has procured. Billy has been towed onto the tarmac and for the first time in 10 years her metal skin is warmed by the sun.  
"She's really something isn't she?" Jack asks the pilot leaning against the fence, looking pensive.  
"She is…" Murdock swallows deeply, eyes downcast and turns to Jack. "I wanna apologize fer my behavior yesterday, Sir…"  
Jack nods in thanks and gazes at his brother's chopper.   
"When I came back from Nam, I was a wreck. Dreams, flashbacks you name it, I had it… Took me a while to get over them and my family saw me at my worst." Jack looks up and puts a hand on Murdock's arm. "Your family saw you at your worst too and still they stayed."  
Murdock shakes his head in denial.   
"I have no family…" he answers quietly. "They all left me."  
Jack can see the sadness in the man's brown eyes.  
"No they didn't. Not all of them." Jack feels the moment that Murdock is going to bolt and grabs his arm. "Look at them." Murdock looks up at the helicopter. He can see Face and Cassidy making eyes at each other. Face flashes his million-dollar smile at the girl, making her blush prettily. _'That thing should be illegal…'_ Her brothers scowl deepens and surprisingly matches the black sergeant's. The pilot smiles, some things just never change. He sighs… _'I guess I owe them an apology too…'_

They get ready to fly to El Paso and within minutes the three brightly colored stunt planes are up in the air. Cassidy and her two wingmen are long gone from sight by the time Murdock has gunned up the engine and lifted from the tarmac. He subconsciously took the left seat as opposed to the pilot's seat. It felt just wrong to sit in Howard's place. The pilot is constantly bombarded by memories triggered by the various sounds the bird makes. Murdock grits his teeth.   
_"No time for thinking son, just fly. Get your head on straight…"_  
"Are you okay?" Face asks over the headset.  
Murdock slightly shakes his head making Face wonder if his friend is having another flashback. He glances down at the ground and nervously pulls on his collar. That could be detrimental to their health at this altitude.  
"Yeah, I'm okay Muchacho." Murdock shakes off another memory. "It's gonna be fine Faceman. Don't worry. I never crashed an aircraft in my life."  
"What?! You crash airplanes all the time!"  
"Now Face, that jus' ain't true! Those were jus' really rough landings."  
"Those were crashes!"  
"Nope, those planes were just gravitationally challenged."  
"Murdock…!"  
"It's a good landing if you can still get them doors open."  
"You're impossible!" Face huffs.  
Murdock smiles cheekily and he checks his gauges. There’s still a few hours of flight to go, what to do what to do... His eyes slowly shift to the right to look at Face from the corner of his eyes.  
"You know why the gals like chopper pilots so much…? They get it up quicker." Face groans and face palms. _'This is going to be a loooong flight.'_

After radioing in at El Paso, Murdock lands the chopper on the designated helipad. After shutting down the engine he just sits there for a while. The entire flight he had entertained himself and his exasperated passenger with aviation one liners, silly songs and he'd even thrown in a dirty joke or two. Anything to keep his mind from trying to go back in time. He had to blink several times to get the landscape to change back from the lush green jungle canopy to Arizona's dry desert plains. The distinctive whine in Billy's engine hasn't changed since back then and it kept messing with his head. He even contemplated upping his psychotropics, but the draw back would be the drowsiness that accompanies them. Murdock looks down at his trembling hands. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

A blond head pops back into the cockpit. "You coming?"  
"Yeah… Face?" Face looks at his friend. Sadness fills him when he glimpses the pitiful look on the pilot's face. He can see Murdock's jaw working to try and get the words out. "I…I'm sorry…"  
Face reaches between the chairs and puts his hand on the other man's shoulder.  
"Don't be." He whispers.  
Murdock turns around to look at him. His brown eyes trying to convey the feelings his mouth is unable to get out. _'I'm sorry Face, for leaving you.'_ "I'm sorry I couldn't hack it." He finally grinds out between clenched teeth. Face feels his heart drop. In his mind's eye he still sees the condition the pilot was in back then. Their medic, Sgt. Olsen, had done everything he could with what little resources he had. The pilot's fate, however, was out of his hands. Murdock got hit in the head so many times it was no wonder he couldn't even remember his own name let alone give up any information to the enemy. He was rail thin, covered with bruises and delirious. Face closes his eyes for a second to get his emotions under control. Even with all his intelligence Murdock couldn't keep the daze and confusion at bay. Even after being rescued, his best friend kept slipping even if he got better at hiding it. Face could do nothing more than watch it happen.

"Murdock, you know it wasn't your fault. If you want to blame someone blame the VC, hell blame uncle Sam…" The conman grabs his friend’s shoulder hard to keep him from turning around again. "But never blame yourself." Murdock sees a pained expression flit across the conman's face before being carefully hidden again.  
"That same goes fer you Faceman."  
Face's jaws clench in unspoken emotion.   
"I know Murdock, I know. For what it's worth… I wasn't… I mean... You're my brother..." Face swallows thickly "I wasn't going to…"  
Murdock grabs his friend’s hand and leans his head back against the seat. Face can hear the shaky half sob, half sigh that forces its way past his lips.  
"I know…" And in his heart, there is no doubt. Face flashes a watery but real smile at Murdock before scooting back to leave the chopper. Murdock undoes his straps and joins his friend outside the where they are greeted by Cassidy and her crew. The van will arrive in another hour or so. In the meantime, everyone gets something to eat and tries to relax.

After dinner Murdock takes B.A aside for a long overdue talk. The sergeant watches the pilot take a half empty pack of cigarettes from his pocket, light one and sigh. B.A. can't remember the last time he saw the other man smoke. Murdock also looks at the cigarette like he doesn't really understand what it's doing there. He opens his mouth to speak several times, but eventually settles for smoking instead. Before the cigarette touches his lips however, B.A. grabs it in his ringed fist and snaps it, throwing it to the floor. Murdock stares at it for a while before a small smile appears on his face. B.A., a man of few words, but big in actions.   
"Thanks, Big Guy…"  
B.A. grunts and puts a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You too, crazy man. You too."

Face finally gets his opportunity to woo Cassidy when he walks outside to see her staring at the stars. He subtly looks around for her brother, not in the mood for an altercation with the younger man. Sidling up to the girl he whispers her name. Cassidy gasps and turns around only to be caught in Face's strong arms.  
"Face…" she whispers, but Face cuts her off with a soft kiss on her lips. Cassidy sighs and relaxes. She looks up into Face's blue eyes and blushes. He her again and this time she responds in kind. They are so lost in each other that neither of them notices the shadow silently creeping towards the helicopter.


	14. Star Spangled Banner

The next day doesn't come quick enough for the colonel. Bored out of his skull by the predictability of Tommy and his goons he waits for the illustrious Mr. Hernandez to finally show up. After roughing him up a little they threw him into a white van and presumably drove him to El Paso. He can faintly hear the voice of an announcer welcoming the exited crowd through the van's exterior. A few new voices are approaching his position and the back door is ripped open. Squinting into the sunlight, Hannibal can make out the silhouette of a portly Mexican man. The man orders Tommy to bring him the colonel and he is roughly hauled up.  
"Mr. Eduardo Hernandez, I presume?"  
The man nods.  
"Si, you presume correctly." Hernandez looks at the colonel pityingly and signals for the other man's hands to be released. "I'm not a bad man senor. I like to do business, but not at the cost of comfort. Cigar?" He offers Hannibal a fine-looking cigar. Smiling broadly, the colonel takes it and bites of the end. Hernandez returns the smile and offers him a light as well.

Murdock is a bundle of nerves, stalking around the chopper. He can hear Cassidy being announced, but he is too wired to watch. He has been up all night trying to get his anxiety under control fighting back the flashbacks that haunt him. The confidence he felt when Hannibal was caught has been slowly evaporating. Murdock presses his hands against his eyes and groans. How in God's name is he going to pull this off. The radio crackles to life and he can hear Cassidy singing at the top of her lungs.  
"I fell into a burning ring of fire…. I went down, down, down…"  
"Cass! Can't you pick something less fiery?!"  
The three planes soar over their position before starting their stunt figures, engines roaring.

"But… as a businessman I'm also obligated to keep an eye on my investments. And you, senor, have been like a fox among my hens, you understand?" Hernandez turns to look at the dazzling display put on by the three stunt planes. Hannibal feels dread curling in the pit of his stomach at the gleeful expression on the man's face....

Murdock can hear three voices laughing over their private channel while he is going through his pre-flight checks.  
"Aaw, you scaredy-cat! What about this one then… Goodness gracious great balls of fire, nana nana nana nana nana, wooo…"?  
Despite his nerves, he can't keep a smile of his face. _'What a girl…'_ _  
_"Got room for one more?" Murdock looks up, startled out of his reverie, to see Jack heave himself into the co-pilot's seat.  
"Thought you wasn't a fan of flying lawnmowers?"  
"Heard that, did you?" Jack fastens his harness and jams the flight helmet on his head. He smirks at Murdock. "Wanna teach me wrong?"  
The pilot shrugs and listens to the tower's instructions. "You think you can keep yer breakfast down?" he says while gunning up the engine. It's whine starting to become deafening with the engine's rising RPM.  
"You try me, flyboy!" he shouts out over the headset.

"When someone takes something from me, I take something from them." The men hear the chopper being announced and soon the telltale sound of an approaching Huey can be heard. It's going through some standard military maneuvers and the crowd is enjoying the view. Hannibal can see the chopper rise high to go into the next maneuver when with a bang and a belch of smoke, the engine sputters and dies. The Huey starts to drop like a brick, tumbling in the air.   
"OH NO, IT SEEMS LIKE OUR BOYS IN GREEN ARE IN TROUBLE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN..." Hannibal looks on in shock. _'Oh, my God…'_  
"Your pilot is on that chopper, no? Such a shame…" Mr. Hernandez starts to laugh heartily and smacks the stricken colonel on his shoulder. The crowd is starting to scream as the announcer calls for emergency personnel to report to the strip. Hannibal can't take his eyes of the plummeting helicopter. Though it's just seconds, it feels like hours of having to watch one of his own die. He failed his men but most importantly he failed Murdock…

Amidst blaring alarms, Murdock is wrestling with the controls. Every gauge in the red. He curses loudly.  
"Mayday mayday, engine failure at 1600 feet!" Jack calls in the emergency.   
"Come on, come on…" Murdock sees the ground come closer at a dizzying speed. He tries everything to get the chopper do do an autorotation but the bird reacts sluggishly if at all.  
"1200 feet! Come on son!" Jack cries.  
His heart is trying to crawl its way out through his mouth.   
"950!"  
"THEY ARE GOING DOWN! OH MY GOD..."  
He's insane enough to try something he knows nobody has ever achieved. Mid tumble he tries to restart the engine. _'Please let this work!'_ "Come on Billy boy, don't let me down now."  
"Murdock!"  
He smacks the control panel in desperation. "Start, you fucker!"  
"450!  
They are going down! He can't let the team down.  
"200!  
Murdock screams at the top of his lungs. "No no no NO, YEAHOOOOOHOOOOOO!" Both the engine and pilot howl as engine suddenly sputters to life and the rotor rpm increases. Murdock pulls them out of the tumble into a steady hover just before they would've hit the ground. Murdock pulls up the collective sharply.  
"Woooooooooooohooo! You fucker! I love you man!" Jack exclaims excitedly and grins from ear to ear. Murdock is shaking like a leaf, his hand grabbing the cyclic like his life depends on it. Even though he wants nothing more than to put the bird down and be done with it, he knows he must pull through for the team. "God if I had known this, I would've switched years ago!"

  
"AND WHAT A SAVE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT..." the announcer continues to sing praises and the crowd goes wild!  
Ready to puke all over the controls, Murdock is trying to calm his racing heart. He takes one steadying breath after another and finally feels ready to release the death grip he has on the stick. Shakily he reciprocates the major's exited grin with one of his own  
"Ready for some fireworks then?" If Jack hears the trembling in the pilot's voice, he makes no indication of hearing it. Smiling broadly, Jack takes the walkie talkie.  
"Ready when you are boys!"

Hannibal watches as the bird pulls up out of its tumble right before it would have smacked into the ground at high speed. Feeling his knees wobble and start to give way in relief when Murdock pulls the chopper back up to a safe height. Hannibal hears the hard-edged whop whop sound of the Huey come closer before he is tackled to the ground and an explosive charge goes off making his ears ring.  
A flash of movement is seen within the chopper before the steady rat-tat of automatic gunfire rips through the air. The rounds hitting the white van behind them.  
"Stay down!" Face's voice shouts in his ear. They can hear the crowd roaring. _'Time for the next stage.'_ "Danny, pop smoke!" the lieutenant bellows his order.  
Soon red, white, and blue smoke fills the air and familiar tunes are blasting from the speakers. There is a pause in gunfire and Face pulls up the colonel. Police sirens can be heard in the distance.

"Nice work Face." Hannibal smirks at the lieutenant. “Stars and Stripes?” Face flashes his customary smile at the colonel.  
"Murdock’s idea. Josie called the police. We don't have a lot of time." Hannibal has trouble keeping the grin off his face, even though it's making his cheeks hurt. His combat experience is taking over and his whole body is singing with the jazz. They make their way to where Danny is fighting Tommy. Soon they join the fray, throwing punches, and knocking the dazed goons out one by one. From time to time the ground is ripped up by bullets coming from the hovering chopper making the bad guy's duck.  
"Say Face… if you, Danny, and I are fighting, and Murdock is flying the bird… Then who is shooting?" Face punches another guy's lights out and smirks at his CO. The announcer has no idea what is going on but is excitedly describing the scene anyway. The crowd roars when the chopper turns around and performs a few bobs and spins. Hannibal's jaw drops when he sees his sergeant operating the machine gun mounted inside the chopper. Under the cover of patriotically colored smoke, the team finishes off the last few guy's and tie them up.

Danny is still pummeling Tommy to a bloody pulp and Face has to physically drag him away from the man. He gets into the younger man's face, blue eyes hard.  
"Back off Danny, he’s had enough." Danny tries his best to get past the lieutenant, but Face is having none of it.  
"He's the one! He attacked Cassidy!"  
Face turns around, an angry expression on his face.  
"Did he now." The lieutenant steps up to the dazed man and with one hard punch he knocks Tommy out. Together they tie him up with the others while the chopper makes its way back to the airstrip under loud applause and wild cheering.

Hernandez is stealthily crawling away from the scene when he hears the telltale click of a gun cocking. He looks up to see the barrel aimed at his head and swallows thickly.  
"Going somewhere?" Hannibal is chewing the expensive cigar between his teeth. From the corner of his eye he can see the flashing blue lights coming nearer. He hauls up the portly man and marches him back to where the rest is kept. "Here, hold this." Hannibal pushes a thick folder into the Hernandez's hands and takes great joy in tying him up. "That's the evidence that's gonna put you in jail for the rest of your life." He smirks at the murderous expression on the man's face. "And thanks again for the cigar. Let's go guys!" The colonel calls out and the three of them run to the black van. They take off like a bat out of hell, kicking up clouds of dust just before the police arrives at the scene.  
The colonel leans back in his seat, his blue eyes glittering.

"I love it when a plan comes together."


	15. Champagne all Around

The day's after the airshow have been filled with police reports, press conferences and maintenance. Newspaper headlines shouted the capture of the famous Eduardo Hernandez in bold letters and some even mentioned the possible involvement of the even more famous A-team. The family is left feeling exhausted but finally they are left to their own devices

The sound of a champagne bottle being popped is heard on the patio. While Face expertly fills the glasses the rest of them mill about talking to each other and laughing. They had to stay low for a couple of weeks, but now that most of the excitement had died down, it was time for celebration. Jack is telling the team about his experiences in the chopper and while everyone roars with laughter, one person is feeling particularly alone. Murdock is spending his evening on the fringe of the group.  
Ever since remembering the truth about Billy, his invisible dog had disappeared leaving him lonely and at the mercy of his thoughts. He leans against one of the support struts of the patio, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets and his cap drawn over his eyes. His flashbacks haven't stopped either. Ever since that first episode in the kitchen, he regularly wakes up screaming. Dr. Richter told him that it's normal to feel this way after a major breakthrough, but that doesn't make it any easier. He started to remember things... Things he'd rather have forgotten. The pilot sighs… Even with all his intelligence he's helpless against his brain. Or maybe it is because of it.

It also bothers him that he still doesn't know the truth about Howard. Hell, he isn't even sure if he wants to know! He never bothered to tell him back then, did he...? Josie seems to notice his unease and makes her way over to him.  
"How are you doing?"  
"I'm fine..." He says dismissively. Josie looks at him with those penetrating blue eyes of hers and she reaches out for his hand.  
"No, you're not. Come…" She leads him from the group towards the den. There she rifles through the drawers of the desk until she comes up with an old shoe box. Josie puts it on the desk and lovingly strokes the lid before taking it off. It is filled to the brim with letters, photographs and faded envelopes stamped by the military postal service. "These are the letters we got from Howard. Some are from Theo, but most of them are about you." Murdock feels his knees weaken and Josie quickly leads him to a chair.

"Me?" he whispers.

Josie drops to her knees before the sitting pilot and takes his limp hands in hers.  
"We have known you for years, without ever getting to know you." She gazes up in Murdock's brown eyes and rubs his cold hands with her warm fingers. "The answers are in there if you want them. I don't care if you are really his son or not, because family can't be measured in blood." Murdock looks down at their entwined hands.  
"Thanks." He croaks out his mouth impossibly dry.  
Josie releases the pilot's hands and stands. "You are always welcome here if you decide you want to get to know us too."  
Murdock is feeling faint. His eyes are drawn to the shoe box on the desk.   
"An' what if I don't?"  
Josie smiles sadly. "I would understand that too." She slowly makes her way back to the door. "Take your time H.M." she says before closing the door softly.

Next day in the afternoon, or early morning if you asked the hung-over group, the team loads up their stuff in the trusty black van. Face holds Cassidy in his arms and Murdock surprisingly notices no adversity coming from her brother. Face presses soft kisses to her lips while murmuring sweet nothings to her. Hannibal is shaking Jack and Josie's hands before handing back the envelope Danny had given them.  
"Why are you giving this back?" Jack asks surprised  
"You need it more than we do at this point besides, we took our payment from our Mexican friend." Murdock smiles at the grin pasted on the colonel's face. Some things just never change. The pilot looks at his team members, his family. They are the only family he needs. He spent all night contemplating the contents of the shoe box. More than once reaching for it, but never touching it. When the sun rose, he just closed the lid and left the den, never looking back.

Murdock sidles towards the black sergeant. "Soooo… you gonna fly with me from now on?"  
B.A. turns on him with surprising speed. "Hell NO! I ain't flying with you!" Murdock looks taken aback.  
"What? You jus' stepped into that chopper without batting an eye!"  
Face and Hannibal turn to look at the exchange. The colonel takes the offered cigar from his lieutenant and settles in to enjoy the show.  
"That was different."  
"How's that different?!"  
"I said ain't gonna fly with you fool!"  
"You jus' flew with me!" Murdock cries out exasperated. "You know B.A., the next time them bullets are flying around yer ears, YOU can walk! Gah!" Murdock throws his hands up in the air and stalks towards the van. B.A. giggles behind his bejeweled hand and follows the irate pilot.

"I guess that's our cue." Hannibal shakes hands with the family once again while Face quickly tries to steal some last kisses from Cassidy. "Step on it, Lieutenant!" Face presses one last lingering kiss to the girl's soft lips and when he hears the engine revving, he starts running. Jumping in the van just before it peels out of the driveway.

**The end**


	16. Epilogue

The team is driving through Tucson on their way home when Murdock spots the military cemetery to the left.  
“Can we stop here for a moment Colonel?” Hannibal glances at the green field filled with bright white headstones and signals for B.A. to pull over. Face pulls open the side door to let the pilot out.  
“You want me to come with you?” the blond asks. Murdock shakes his head.  
“Nah… I need to do this alone.” He steps into the registration office to ask where he can find Howard’s plot. Armed with a map and a plot number, Murdock wanders around the cemetery. It’s peaceful. Beautifully maintained shrubs and trees litter the green grass and the white headstones are gleaming in the sunlight. He finds the row where Howard is buried. The pilot takes a deep breath and stops before the grave. He takes off his cap, stands at attention and salutes.

“You really look like him.” Startled, Murdock whips around to see a slight woman in her 50’s standing behind him. He remembers her face from the pictures Howard showed him all those years ago.  
“You are… You must be Libby.” The woman smiles sadly and walks to stand beside him.  
“I come here every day.” She gazes up into Murdock’s brown eyes. “You have the same eyes…” Libby shakes her blonde head at the headstone. “I’m not sure if I should be angry with him or relieved.”  
Murdock doesn’t know how to react and just stares at the woman like a deer caught in the headlights. She looks at the leather jacket reaching out to touch it but deciding against it. “I had it made for my Theo. I got the letter that he was…” She stops, blinking away tears. “I got Theo's letter after... He was so happy with it.” She smiles at the increasingly uncomfortable pilot. “Jack told me you were in town and I wondered if I should give this to you or not.” Libby reaches into her purse, pulls out a very old and faded envelope and hands it to Murdock. She sighs and looks at the name engraved in the headstone. “37 years ago, I was a jealous woman. I kept this secret and in the end, it cost me everything…” Not looking at the pilot, Libby turns to leave. For a short time, she hesitates before speaking one last time. “Take care...”

Stunned, Murdock watches Howard’s widow leave. He wants to call out after her, but no sound comes from his throat. With trembling hands, he takes out the folded paper. A small black and white picture flutters to the grass but Murdock is too focused on the letter to notice. He can’t really remember his mother’s handwriting, but the date fits. Life as an illegitimate child in the 40’s and 50’s wasn’t easy, especially in the South. He never fit in, no matter how hard he tried. Bullied at school and shunned by his mother’s two older sisters and their families, he was a lonely child. Eventually one of grampa’s old army buddies took pity on him and taught him to fly. Murdock looks at the headstone and finally notices the small white square on the grass. He picks it up and turns it over.

It’s a picture of a smiling baby. The same one he knows is in the small family album hidden away in his duffel bag. It’s the only thing he has left from his mother’s side as his aunts sold the house when both his grandparents passed away. His only family, his blood had disowned him… Silently he grieves for the life he could have had.   
_‘I’m the only one left…’_  
Murdock suddenly remembers Josie’s words,  
_“I don’t care if you are really his son or not, because family can’t be measured in blood.”_ S and he knows he has to get back. The captain walks back to the van with purpose.  
“Go back to the house.” he orders B.A. If the sergeant has an opinion on the matter, he doesn’t show it. He just puts the van in gear and drives back.

Back at the house, Murdock jumps from the van and heads towards the door. Before he can knock the door opens to reveal Josie. She opens her arms wide and Murdock envelops her in a tight hug. Face, B.A. and Hannibal watch as their friend buries his head in her shoulder. His back is hunched, his shoulders shaking.  
Josie feels wetness saturate the fabric of her clothes and presses a kiss to the pilot’s temple.  
“Welcome home son, welcome home.”

_~ January 3 rd, 1948_

_Dear Howard,_

_I’m writing to let you know I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. I think you are going to like him. He’s so beautiful and so tiny. He has a good set of lungs on him though. I think the whole town can hear him howl._

_It’s not easy being a mother without you. But with my parents help, I’m sure we will get through this until you get back to Beaumont.  
I hope to hear from you soon, so you can meet him._

_I miss you._

_Love_

_Madeline ~_


	17. Tag, C'est Fini

In a rather gloomy bar in one of the seedier parts of LA, a handsome blond man is carefully nursing a scotch. This not being his usual haunt and he stands out like a sore thumb. He couldn’t care less about that though. This way there was a good chance he could get drunk before Hannibal found him. Luckily, its patrons had returned to drowning their sorrows, leaving the man to his dark thoughts. **  
**The mission had brought up a lot of memories for the lieutenant. Some good, some bad and everything in between. Face sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He hadn’t thought about any of it in years. After their arrest, they’d lost contact with Young and Olsen and who knows what happened to Murdock’s crew. They probably stayed in country until Murdock got discharged, maybe even after.

Speaking of the pilot… They left Murdock in Tucson to reacquaint with his new family. Which was nice for him of course, but it also left Face to deal with his demons on his own. Face slams his empty glass onto the counter and signals the bartender for a refill. He leans his elbows on the bar and props up his head with his hands, hiding his face. He can’t help but feel neglected. Murdock and he had so much in common. They were both orphans, they both had no family left. Or at least, that’s what they’d thought. Heaving another sigh, he swallows a mouthful of the cheap scotch. After these last few days, he feels that a bit of wallowing in self-pity is justified. Face wishes Ray was still around. During the war, he’d become quite attached to the major and his sudden death had rattled him. You were supposed to die on a battlefield. Not at home in the country they fought for. Face guessed the death of Ray had sparked something in Murdock that contributed to his breakdown during the mission.

Suddenly, he feels awful for thinking about himself.  
“Hey kid.”  
Face glances to his left. He knew Hannibal would track him down. He waves his empty glass at the bartender and keeps his eyes trained on the amber liquid being poured into his glass. Hannibal orders a drink too and turns to his wayward lieutenant.  
“How are you holding up, Face?”  
Face’s face twists in something akin to grief before it’s being carefully hidden again. He casually runs his hand through his hair trying to regain some semblance of his normal suave self.  
“I’m just fine.” He picks up the glass to take a drink, but Hannibal puts his hand on his wrist. Effectively stopping him from hiding behind it.  
“You and I both know you’re not, Face.” Face’s jaw clenches before he looks up. Despite his well-maintained mask, Hannibal had always been able to look right through him. It was the reason he’d pulled Face out of the brig in the first place.

Face looks down at his hands.  
“I didn’t think about it.” He says softly. “I remembered it, but I didn’t think about it.” Face’s expression shows his inner turmoil. “What happened…with Murdock… I… It made me **_think_** about it, Hannibal. All of it…” The blond shakes his head before looking up again. His blue eyes are suspiciously gleaming in the dim light.   
Hannibal deflates, his shoulders sagging. He releases Face’s wrist and leans heavily on his arms.  
“I know son.”

Face nods.  
“What if he wants to… stay with them?”  
Hannibal thinks it over for a while before snorting.  
“They won’t be able to handle him.”  
Face looks at the colonel with wide eyes. He suddenly has an image in his head of Danny trying to deal with Murdock’s antics before bursting out in laughter. They laugh until their bellies are aching, pushing their sadness to the background. Just like in the old days.  
“Can you believe that?” Face gasps between bouts of laughter. “I forgot he’s crazy.”  
Hannibal lights a cigar.  
“Crazy though not insane.”  
Face raises his glass to the older man.  
“I’ll drink to that!”   
The men settle down a bit. The occasional snicker breaking the companionable silence between them.

“He’ll be back Face.” The lieutenant sighs yet again.  
“How can you be so sure?” Face thinks about his own family. What he would give to find any of them.  
“Because I know so.” Face looks at the colonel searchingly but finds no doubt whatsoever in his steely blue eyes. Hannibal grabs Face’s shoulder.   
“Come on kid, I’ll take you home.” Hannibal throws enough cash on the counter to cover their bills and helps the inebriated lieutenant to his feet. He guides the swaying blond to the black van parked right around the corner. Deciding against taking Face to his scammed apartment he instead takes him to his own place. By the time they arrive, Face is already half asleep. B.A. and Hannibal half walk, half drag the lieutenant up the stairs to the condo and into the guest bedroom.  
They help Face get situated and B.A. silently takes his leave. Hannibal settles himself on the couch. He turns on the TV and lowers the volume. That way he’ll be able to keep an eye on the sleeping lieutenant. Murdock will be back, and everything will go back to the way it was. Almost like living inside TV show.

Hannibal smiles. They just needed a proper catchphrase…


End file.
